Victim #84: Indentured Servitude in Massachusetts

I am an alimony victim. My own alimony order is, in my view, among the more unjustified. I will give a brief summary and you can judge for yourselves.

My state is Massachusetts.

I met my ex-wife in 1980 when we were 30 and 27 yo respectively. A year later we began dating and did so on and off until 1990. During the dating period she broke it off twice, I was ambivalent.

She had a young son and was getting child support from the ex-husband/father. Summer of 1990 she was in desperate financial straights and about to lose her house. Against my own best judgment I offered to move in and pay rent to her so as to stave off foreclosure.

During the next 4 years we got along pretty well except for a few rocky spots but she began to need health care and escalated her use of my work-provided health plan. I had given her the OK to use its low-level benefits as my "spouse" but I became concerned when she made more extensive use of the plan. Since she needed more health care, and since we were getting along pretty well, I suggested marriage and she agreed; December 1994.

The first couple of years were fine but things went downhill steadily after that. The year 2000 was made a living hell for me by her alcohol abuse which had not previously been evident. She walked away from booze after that year but the damage had been done.

I was resigned to living in a now-loveless marriage because I saw no other way out. She needed continued health care coverage and did not work due to poor health. I thought it might be best for all concerned if we just got along as best we could. She evidently did not feel that way about it.

After years of empty threats of divorce she sought counsel (unknown to me) in the summer of 2004 and wanted to file but her lawyer put it off until January 2005 because that makes it, in the eyes of my state's probate courts, a "long-term marriage" (10 years or more).

Now, during the marriage I had refinanced the mortgage on the house, lowering the monthly payments in the process, and reduced the amount owed on it by about $30,000. Those facts, plus being legally married, made me feel like I had a legitimate claim to partial ownership of the house though it was originally hers and the deed remained in her name.

I was more than willing to walk away from any claim of partial house ownership in return for a clean break but that was not in the cards; they wanted alimony.

Now, it is important to point out here that I owed my ex-wife NOTHING! She made me no loans, she did not do anything to support my job (a job I had before, during, and after our relationship), she did not help me go to school, she did not do my laundry, she did not go shopping for me, she did not prepare bag lunches for me to take to work, and she did not cook for me with any regularity (when we shared meals she did virtually all of the cooking but I paid for virtually all of the ingredients). It can not be said that she ever did anything for me for which alimony could be seen as a remedy as means of repayment.

Anything she may have done for me can easily be balanced by those things I did for her so it was all a wash. On the other hand, it is a simple matter to argue that it was she who was in debt to me. As a result of our relationship her monthly mortgage payments were now at least 10% lower and the total amount owed on the mortgage was almost 50% lower.

At the original hearing a standard deal was struck: she keeps all of the house, I keep all of my pension, and I pay alimony ($150. per week, almost 25% of my take-home pay). My lawyer was to construct the final document for her signature. She balked at some of the language in the final agreement, got pissed actually, because it stated that if she married another man 'or woman' then the alimony would cease. She went ballistic at the mention of 'another woman' because she thought she was being accused of being a lesbian. I tried to explain to her that it only reflected the new boilerplate required in Massachusetts since gay marriage here is now legal but she was not mollified.

They now demanded the alimony be doubled to $300. Well, that was unacceptable. I simply was unable to pay that much so I refused, and that forced a trial which greatly increased my legal bills (while she was getting free legal counsel). The judge also warned ominously that she felt the new alimony demand was reasonable and that I might be wasting my time and money going to trial. At the trial I made the case that the marriage s****d and was basically over after only 5 years. I also was able to convince the court I was unable to pay $300. per week due to my own cost of living which includes very large credit card debt caused by the marriage.

After hearing the full details from my side the judge gave me a partial break: alimony was increased to "only" $200. per week instead of $300. and I would only have to keep her on my current job-provided health plan and NOT have to continue supplying health coverage for her once that plan is lost.

As earlier agreed to she gets all of the house and I keep all of my pension. Left unexplained are two points: 1) why should she have any claim on my pension in the first place since I did all the work and she did not, in ANY way, help me do that work nor did she "give up" anything so that I could do that work, and 2) how the hell am I supposed to continue paying alimony after I retire if: a) all of my pension is mine and b) all of my money comes from my pension every month (which will be the case)? If I must continue paying alimony after retirement then those payments must come from my pension checks since I am left with only debts and no savings. Go figure.

That is pretty much my whole story. The judge as much as admitted that if "I" did not help support my ex-wife then the state would wind up helping to support her since she is, technically, disabled due to poor health. Now, I don't want to sound insensitive, but once I was divorced from her, and once all debts between us were settled, what the hell is the argument for ordering me to contribute to her support indefinitely? I mean, they might as well pick some poor schmuck out of the phone book at random, select some poor needy woman off the welfare rolls at random, and order the man to start sending her checks.

IMHO, my case is a clear violation of............................

13th. Amendment to the U.S. Constitution:

Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a
punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted,
shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their
jurisdiction.

Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by
appropriate legislation.

Sorry this ran so long but it felt good to pour it all out.

###

Victim #83: How The Slaves Are Treated In Court

I am a victim of a Domestic Dispute. I cannot afford an Attorney and I am concerned that as a result my Ex-Wife's jealousy, anger, and malice that I will be put in jail for failure to pay my court ordered alimony and child support. I do not know where to turn because my Ex-Wife has not only sabotaged my vehicle but also my job as well. I am concerned that since I cannot afford an Attorney that she will get away with this and only get braver and continue to wreak havoc on my life.

My Ex-Wife was entitled to a free Legal Aid Attorney and I could not afford an Attorney so as a result I got stuck paying substantial and unfair amount of Child Support as well as Alimony. It was not enough that my Ex-Wife got over half of my paycheck and I was forced to work overtime in order to survive but she has also managed to alienate my children from me in the process.

I was hoping to be able to work enough overtime so that I could someday afford an Attorney to help me reduce my child support and alimony payments and possibly help me stop my Ex-Wife from further turning my children against me. I dreamed of the day that I could visit with my children again and speak with them on the phone without the interference and harassment from my Ex-Wife.

Then I started having trouble with my car. I found out that sugar was dumped into the gas tank of my car. I suspected that my Ex-Wife might have something to do with it but at that point I had no way of proving it. So then I had to use any overtime or extra money to try and fix my car. Fortunately, I was able to keep my job because I was able to catch rides to work with my Co-Workers.

At this point when I thought that things were bad enough with the car trouble and disintegrating relationship with my children then things went from bad to worse. It seems that my Ex-Wife is never satisfied. Every time I think that things are as bad as they can possibly get my Ex-Wife comes along and causes more hate and discontent.

We have been divorced for over six months now and reside in separate states and I still cannot manage to get rid or her. I hope that maybe if I share my ordeal with you that maybe you can possibly point me in the right direction or refer me to someone who can help me. I feel that I am at my ropes end.

I was employed at a correctional facility for over two years in Tennessee. It appears that My Ex-Wife has created an Online Internet profile using my personal and private information and taken a nude photo of me that I was unaware existed since our divorce and has been using it against me to seek revenge.

I have attempted to report such to my local authorities as well as the FBI to no avail. When I called my local Sherif's Dept. to report what my Ex-Wife is doing to me they told me that it was a case for the FBI because not only was it out of the jurisdiction but also because they are not equip to handle Internet Crimes. When I called the FBI they referred me back to my local authorities. No one wants to assist me and I cannot afford an Attorney at this time. I feel that I should not be denied my right to justice due to the fact that I cannot afford an attorney. Below, I will attempt to explain the details of my ordeal.

While at my residence during my off duty time, I received a phone call requesting that I report to the warden's office at the facility immediately. I arrived at the facility and proceeded directly to the Warden's office as instructed where I met the him and the chief of security.

After being seated, the warden brought a photo up on the monitor of his computer. The
picture was of me wearing a hat, an unbuttoned shirt, with my penis exposed. He then asked me if I recognized the picture and if it was of me. I answered yes to both questions while adding that the picture was old. The warden then read some information off to me, which seemed to be from an online profile, my name, age, location, etc. This information included the fact that I worked for a corrections facility in which I would never include in an online profile. At this point, the warden eformed me that I was terminated effective immediately without allowing me any opportunity to say much less explain anything.

The warden then went on to further state that a concerned parent of a 15 year old girl had filed a complaint with the corporate office stating that I had emailed this photo to her daughter and that she had filed a police report on the matter. He then told me that the Sheriff's office would be looking for me as a result of the matter. I then signed the paperwork that he presented to me as well as surrendering my employee ID. I then departed his office as well as the facility. The whole entire process took less than 5 minutes.

I then proceeded directly to the Sheriffs office and checked to see if they were in fact looking for me. A captain Investigations Dept. stated that they were not looking for me. I then left my name and phone number with them and headed home. To this date, I have not received any phone calls from the Sheriffs Dept. I also went as far as to check with the County Sheriffs dept. where I reside as well just in case and they are not looking for me either.

I cannot help but to wonder if anyone cared if the accusations were in fact the truth or not because no one took into consideration that I no longer reside in Florida like the alleged profile had stated, not to mention the fact that if I did send that picture, why would I set myself up to be caught by providing the victim with information that would get me caught?

The warden would not give me any information as to who filed the complaint or the alleged email address that I had allegedly sent this photo from. I feel that the lack of information hindered me from clearing my name and proving my innocence.

To my knowledge, there was no investigation conducted by anyone at correctional facility prior to terminating my employment. I feel that this was very unfair not to mention unprofessional. I believe that I was considered guilty without an opportunity to prove otherwise. Even the Inmates are given a hearing and an opportunity to prove themselves innocent prior to having disciplinary action taken against them. I feel that as an employee of the facility that I should have been given at least equal treatment and consideration as the Inmates if not more.

The reason that I believe that my ex-wife is the one that either sent or had this email sent to to correctional facility is because on earlier she emailed my new Wife with the photo and threatened to call the warden as well as correctional facility about it. Not to mention all of the times that she threatened my job as well as my Wife's job on numerous occasions via telephone and emails. In addition to this my daughter threatened our jobs as well via E-mails, Instant
Messages, as well as the telephone. My daughter threatened to have my Wife and I sent to jail in her last E-mail to us.

No one took into consideration the fact that I had filed a Report in reference to threats and harassment by my Ex-Wife. I also discussed the ongoing harassment by my Ex-Wife. On numerous occasions she called my Wife and I at the facility as well as at home not to mention the emails threatening our jobs, etc.

During third shift while I was off duty, my Ex-Wife showed up at the facility looking for me and made threats against me to the officers who was assigned to post that night. He informed me that she threatened me bodily harm and that she was at the facility looking for me when I returned to work. Therefore it was not like the Supervisors as well as the Administration at the facility were unaware of the threats and ongoing harassment by my Ex-Wife.

After my divorce was final, the harassing and threatening phone calls began in the next month after my Ex-Wife found out that I was seeing my now Wife who was working. My Ex-Wife called and discussed my personal relationship with the Warden and Assistant Warden. I could not help but to notice that after my Ex-Wife talked with my Supervisors as well as the Wardens that my job environment changed drastically in many ways.

I am now not only without a job but also without a car as well. I started having car trouble shortly after my Ex-Wife found out about Andrea. Upon having my car looked at by a mechanic sugar was discovered in the gas tank of my car. I have had my car in the garage for repairs on at least three occasions since and spent at least $1100 trying to have it repaired and it is still not running. Now, I am without a job and as a result have no funds to have it repaired nor can I afford to purchase another vehicle.

In January, my daughter sent my Wife an Instant Message saying that she knew what happened to my car but when my Wife questioned her she logged off. This confirms my suspicion that My Ex-Wife put sugar in the gas tank of my car in hopes that I would have no transportation to work and lose my job as a result.

Now since her sabotaging my vehicle not cause me to lose my job now she sent the nude photo of me pretending to be the a concerned parent saying that I sent the nude photo of myself to a minor in order to get me fired for ethics and morality violations. My Ex-Wife has told me on numerous occasions that she wanted very badly to see me to go to jail for failure to pay child support as well as Alimony. I feel that she is trying to make that happen while hiding behind a screename in cyberspace. Without a job and my car it makes it very difficult for me to pay my court ordered child support and alimony.

I have since filed a grievance with the corrections facility explaining what I believed happened in hopes of getting my job back. I am very concerned that if my job is not reinstated that it will make it very difficult for me to find another job. I am already hearing about slanderous rumors that are circulating in reference to why I lost my job. I am very concerned that my Ex-Wife has succeeded in damaging my reputation to the point that I will never work in the Corrections or Law Enforcement field again.

In my opinion, it is not right that someone can get away with a crime because our Law enforcement agencies are still living in the dark ages. It is just not right that because my Ex-Wife used the Internet to seek revenge that I cannot receive any justice in this matter without an attorney. It is just not fair that my Ex-Wife can get away with getting me fired from this job because she used to Internet to disguise herself. Not to mention the fact that my Ex-Wife is entitled to a Legal Aid Attorney and I am not. I do not feel that it is right that I have always worked and she seldom did and she is entitled to free legal representation while I am not. I do not feel that is at all fair that I am denied of any justice because I cannot afford an Attorney and my free loading Ex-Wife sits at home and meditates all day long on how to wreak further havoc on my life and she gets free legal representation but I work hard in order to pay her alimony and child support and I have to suffer without any legal representation.

It angers me that someone can hide behind a screename and say or do anything without any consequences for their actions. Now I am in fear of going to jail for failure to pay child support and alimony thanks to my Ex-Wife. So now my Ex-Wife may get her wish that I go to jail because I cannot afford an Attorney to stop her. It is just not fair that because I have to give her over half of my salary that I cannot afford an Attorney and she is entitled to a Legal Aid Attorney. Not to mention that the fact that she cannot get away with harassing me and bleeding me dry and I cannot do anything about it because I cannot afford an Attorney.

I feel that just because I cannot afford an Attorney that I should not be denied of my rights or any justice in this matter.

###

Victim #83: Trapped in America

My lawyer told me appeal was useless, turns out she was the judge's best friend! It probably was useless, though, and I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I have been told that I can go back now because she has a job, house paid off, etc....but I'm not holding my breath.

My situation was pretty classic: marriage a little over 10 years, profession, and their goal was very clear from the beginning... .to get 50% of my NET INCOME....alimony plus child support. My mistake was following the American illusion and doing exactly what I was supposed to do.....work hard, get an education, take care of your family. There is no need to take care of your family. With a single finger your wife can call a lawyer and the court will MAKE YOU DO IT.

I have paid alimony for over 10 years. I never dreamed I would be trapped in America. You can bet it will only get worse if the Democrat socialists get in full power. As far as I am concerned they have "thrown the book" at me and have gotten all they could get. Sounds like they have done the same to you. Good luck, but don't hold your breath. Welcome to America, brother!

###

Victim #82: He Thought It Couldn't Happen To Him

I used to ignore people that were going through a divorce. I thought that the courts were fair and if people had something to complain about it was probably because they got something they deserve.

Not until I experienced the nightmare of divorcing my wife, who I recently found is bipolar, that I began to understand how unfair family court can really be and how much damage the system can inflict on someones life. As a matter fact they have the power to destroy your life.

This is my second time I am going through this. Back in 2005 my wife was involved in a fraudulent mortgage business and was make an insane amount of money. When I realize the risks she was taking and understood that eventually she was going to get caught and end up in jail leaving me to raise my two boys alone I begged her to stop. Instead of listening to my reasonable reasons she started to resent me and accuse me of being jealous.

In a matter of months she got me arrested for alleged domestic violence, got a falsified domestic violence injunction against me and kept me from seeing my kids for 28 days. She humiliated me for almost five months. All of the sudden she realized that she did not need me anymore, she kept me out of our business with the DVI and controlled everything. I had to drop my children at a friend's house and after she moved to a gated community I could not pass the gate to drop them off or to pick them up.

About three weeks after I was arrested and could not go back to my home, she filed for divorce and place an offer on a very expensive home about three blocks from where we used to live. She moved very quickly and a few more weeks she moved to into this new house.

Not long after she moved to her new home her mortgage business collapsed after the real estate bubble burst and her income was reduced to nothing. Our other business, the travel agency was in the hands of an employee who was helping himself to our money as well as my wife.

Something went wrong on the affair she was having with him and all of the sudden she began talking to me again. To make a long story short we end up getting back together. I was very naive in thinking she wanted me back and realized she made a mistake. I had no clue of what was going on and I just wanted to come back home to her and to my children.

As soon as I came back home I started to see the mess she got herself into. She overpaid for this house and she financed 100% of its value. Now we had some big problems, the mortgage payments were close to $5,000 per month and the house we used to live was vacant and the mortgage there was $2,700.00 per month. The travel agency was on the verge of bankruptcy. We started to borrow money from an equity line and got into some heavy debt.

I did some detective work and found the where abouts of closing papers of the house she bought when I was away. To my surprise I realized that my signature had been forged when she closed the purchase, the paper work was notarized and two of the Title Company's employees signed as witness of my presence at the closing. All this took place when we were separated and there was a domestic violence injunction against me. Off course my wife never mentioned anything to me until I confronted her.

The situation got worst in every aspect and it was no different in our relationship. I kept a very close eye on her every move, I did no trust her to begin with and now I just could not let my guard down.

One more time I decide to do the right thing. Try to fix the problem that is. I stayed and try to put the house on the market, nobody was going to pay what she owed the bank. We kept on borrowing to make the payments. We rented our former house and the negative cash flow was now $1,000 per month.

After all that happen I thought she had learned the lesson and would stop. A few months later she was doing it again, This time she was buying another home that used to belong to her brother which was being foreclosed on. Again, I tried to stop her but she never had any respect for me. I knew my marriage was over and few months later I moved out of my home for good. She filed for divorce two weeks after I moved out.

It's being six months since I moved out, she has made my life a living hell. The court granted her primary custody of my children and I only get to see them once every other week and I visit with them twice a week for a few hours. Prior to that court order, I shared 50-50 custody with my wife.

She controls our business and I got a job that is not even paying for my living expenses and the child support that takes about 30% of my net income. She kept all money we had in the bank accounts. I can not even afford my attorney, I am broke and running out of credit.

Four months ago, after I moved out she bought a smaller home. She knew she could not afford to make payment on the house any longer and again committed fraud to buy this other home. She told the bank it was an investment property and she was not going to live there. She signed an occupancy affidavit stating that, otherwise the bank would never grant her the loan knowing that she was going to abandon the large house after the closing.

As soon as she got the loan and purchased the new home she moved out of the large home and stopped making the payments on it. The bank initiated foreclosure procedures and the paper work was served to her and to me on October 14 , 2008. I just found out a few days ago when she dropped my copies at my house on November 23, 2008 when it was too late to do anything about it. I had twenty days to answer but forty days had passed.

I had no choice but to go to the police and tell everything that happens. An investigation will start soon I hope. Meanwhile the house was in the market and apparently the bank accepted a short sale. The house is now schedule to close on December 4, 2008.

I decide not to sign anything and without my signature she can not sell the house. Since I did not sign anything to buy it, it's better if I stay clear of this transaction. Incredibly enough she got her attorney to call for an emergency hearing to get to the court to force me to sign the papers on the closing day.

I heard from a few attorneys that I can not file suit against the title company and the notary because I had no financial loss. It's hard for me to understand since this law suit against me will damage my name. I need help and all the advise I can get. I need to go after this Title Company and the notary. I understand they have insurance for this kind of thing.

I can not understand how my wife is getting away with this so far but I need to go after the title company and the notary as soon as I can in Civil court as well as criminal court. One of my fears is that, with all of the financial fiasco she has created, she has put herself into a position where she earns less than me and will be seeking permanent alimony, since we were married for 17 years.

###

Victim #81: No Hope For Justice In Tennessee

I don't have any illusions that I will even remotely find justice with the judge in my case. She is so bad that she has had almost 50% of her judgments overturned and has been censured for incompetence. I am planning on living in this indentured servitude prison for the rest of my life and have been looking at plans B and C. No-one but people in this group seem to understand and when I speak of any of this to someone in the general population they just don't believe it. I think that's how the legal eagles get away with it.

I have already had to pay everything since the divorce with the exception of HER legal fees from her expensive legal bastard (even though she tried like hell to have me pay). The sad thing is since I have to continue to pay alimony to her, I am unable to help my kids who are in college like I want to.....or my ailing parents...every time I think of it my blood pressure goes up. Right now I'm unemployed, but guess what? Yup, I still have to pay the bitch regular alimony and meanwhile, my kids don't understand and my father continues to need an expensive nursing home.

No revolution can occur without enough people knowing about it. I have been thinking about ways to start getting the truth out here in Tennessee. The problem is that nobody gives a rat's ass about alimony unless THEY have to pay it.

Also if you will notice there is no such entity as a SINGLE DAD. Even when I had custody of my 12 year old daughter, I was a DIVORCED DAD. Even the YMCA had a special discount program for SINGLE MOM'S which was the definition of my ex-wife who had custody of our good behaving daughter. The one I had was the bad behaving daughter who she just kicked out one night (and tried to keep getting child support for both in addition to alimony).

###

Victim #80: Victim Finds Help and Comfort From Friends

As I look back on it my former spouse planned the divorce. I had a heart attack and she refused to drive me to the hospital, I had to drive myself. Then after my surgery, she took time off work, supposedly to take care of me? But when I returned to work, she didn't go back to HER job. I had the heart attack---SHE quit working...was this planned...I think sooo!

Instead she filed for divorce, telling me she couldn't work full time and since I no longer could work 1 job and my part time job...she decided that bringing in her high school sweetheart to live in the house and me leaving would benefit her financially.

She told me that if I didn't go---she would claim that I abused her and I would be thrown in jail. I'm not really a very big guy---and am scared to death of what happens to you in jail. I had never laid a hand on her---ever...but knew a neighbor who had been blamed for something he didn't do. Face it---the MEN are never believed if the women are good liars?...and sooooo really it's about them holding you hostage within your own marriage.

At the time, I was confused and drained, so I left. For a life...on the street---I guess? I wasn't really sure where I was going or what I was doing. I called my best friend from work and told her what had happened. She and her husband invited me to come to their home temporarily to recuperate and organize myself. It was a calm place with no fighting...very quiet and peaceful. I was given my own room and bath, clean towels and fresh linens, washer/dryer access and whatever I needed to eat. That's when I decided that it's OK to just have the clothes on your back and your golf clubs.

Since that time, these people have fronted legal funds, protected me from having a nervous breakdown and pretty much become my family. They refuse to allow any contact from the former spouse. She is NOT welcome to call, come in the vicinity of their home nor will they have ANY contact with her, although she has tried, they politely refuse interaction.

The high school sweetheart turned out to be an ex-con/drug/alcohol abuser and her plans slowly unraveled as our divorce proceeded. Now---it seems very apparent to me that she was being coached by a combination of her attorney, the divorced female neighbor next door and a few women she knew who had filed "untrue" claims but won.

I was exhausted and I thought it was soooo obvious, that the court would see right through her "game". What I NOW know...is that the courts believe whoever is the best liar. Our proceedings are continuing---5 years later

...this time I am taking her back for enforcement of the final judgment, to which SHE did NOT adhere, even with me giving her $2500 per month...she called the other night on her "marathon"...dialing gig, crying that she has no money--asking "why" I was doing this?---Why---I thought? because my checking account was garnished and my parents were harassed and threatened with a lien on their home because of bills that the former spouse did NOT pay

I refused to listen to whining and begging...I hung up time and time again. Yesterday, she began the charade calling the office...again...I refused to take her call or listen to any pleading. It doesn't matter to me anymore.

This time I AM filing the restraining order against her....with the notation that ALL communication/negotiation is to be done through MY attorney, not me. She thinks that since she is PRO SE that she doesn't have to go to court??...confused ...?? I think she doesn't understand that I really don't care anymore. In fact, I will take great pleasure in making her look foolish in court this time.

SHE didn't do what she was told to do---I did. She intentionally "under/unemployed" herself, which was very obvious the last time we were in mediation. Even the mediator said---how can you make less than minimum wage working 40 hours per week? She said---"oh--I need to be home for the kids"...he said---"how old are your children"---"14 & 20"...and he said....they are not babies or in need of care giving?....so---most of what worked 6 years ago...isn't quite the same as she anticipated it would be.

Today, I am at Disney with my kids...having a great time...right now---everyone is napping...and I am on-line...and life is good.

###

Victim #79: Alimony is Legalized Theft

Now that my child support is done, I am moving out of the state of Tennessee which is every bit as bad as Florida when it comes to Alimony. I will not send my tax dollars to a state that follows this socialist ideology. Does anyone know or have any experience with the state of Mississippi?

It is interesting to me that even though female divorce judges here in Tennessee publicly proclaim that "lifetime alimony" is almost impossible to get, I personally know a number of professionals who have been forced into this indentured servitude -- although I have never heard of a lawyer that has been. And my ex-wife got it without any difficulty - or reason at all.

What it boils down to is that LIFETIME ALIMONY is a form of legalized and judicially sanctioned THEFT. Yes, it is STEALING which is much more easily done with a black robe than with a gun. And it conforms to socialist ideology perfectly.

I have lost the freedom to pursue endeavors that I would really like to because of my indentured servitude of LIFETIME ALIMONY. This is really tragic in a "free country" and although we supposedly have the protection of "free speech", I do have some anxiety that expressing my opinions in emails such as these will eventually come back to haunt me.

###

Victim #78: Penalized for Saving

After getting divorced I tried to keep my lifestyle conservative and accumulate as much savings as possible for my upcoming mandatory retirement, that was to come up in ten years.

Prior to the divorce, I had already lost a good deal of my retirement benefits from a former employer, when it went bankrupt. Then my Ex got half of ALL my remaining retirement benefits plus any retirement benefits/funds/pensions/etc. I was to accrue during the time between my divorce and my retirement.

Like anyone else has found himself in a similar position, I made a serious effort to save for my upcoming termination of wages. What I did not realize was that the money I was putting back by "eating beans instead of steak" was that these funds could be used to justify further alimony payments. I didn't realize that if my Ex was living "high-on-the-hog", what I was saving only was providing more money to enhance my "Ability-to-Pay".

What's wrong with this picture? Maybe it's only here in Florida that this can and does happen.

I feel this is terribly unjust. How can I avoid paying my Ex what I strived so hard to save while she was spending not only nearly half a million in alimony, but also a good portion of the retirement monies that were turned over to her a decade ago.

###

Victim #77: Some Vengeful Ex's Give Women A Bad Name

My husband and I recently married. I've known him for years and years and was fully aware of the alimony order in place from their divorce 4 years ago. They were only married for 10 years.

Problem is that she became enraged when she found out that we got married and had the audacity to purchase a new home. The one thing that she doesn't know is that I make considerably more money than he does (about 3x). So everything that we have is because I purchased it.

Long story short, she's taking him back to court for payment of arrearages owed (from when he was unemployed in 2003 and the alimony was $350 a week) and for contempt of court. The contempt charges stem from the credit reporting bureaus.

When they divorced they had a considerable amount of credit card debt which of course he got so kindly ordered to pay. But during the time which he was unemployed he was unable to make the payments on time every time. He didn't miss a single payment and hasn't since, but some were late and since the credit was in both their names it got reported to her SSN also. So she is suing him for not "holding her harmless".

This woman is highly educated, a former school teacher and now a paralegal making almost double his income.

I've tried researching the laws in our state (OH) to see if I can find any way to get out of this ridiculous obligation, but the only information that I can find is geared towards the recipient. I can't find a single law, judgment, or ruling that protects the payor.

I'm sorry, but it's women that do these sort of things that give the rest of us a bad name!

###

Victim # 76: Beware Mediated Agreement

In retrospect, I look at how long my ex-wife set me up for alimony.

It started when she refused to get a job even when all the kids were in school. I am sure looking back that she was coached by an attorney (in her case a man hating lesbian) on what to do.

Of course, after she filed for divorce, she stated she was unable to maintain a job. That's when you get tagged for temporary support and this sets the stage for alimony. Be careful with this amount! She needed to be retrained to enter the workplace. I guess if she wanted to be a doctor, she would need support for 10 years.

One week after the settlement, she found a job working for her brothers making minimum wage. She lasted a year in college with a part time schedule. I really don't blame her. I blame myself, my lawyer and most of all the system.

I would tell anybody going into mediation to have total amount of money that you know you can afford in mind. If your spouse comes back with a much higher amount than your amount, offer your max as a final amount and if they don't accept it be willing to walk. Don't waste time going back and forth.

If you are a man you will probably be paying opposing counsel, your attorney and the mediator. It is better to walk out than get stuck with a bad settlement. As my new attorney says "you mediated a settlement that was worse than your worst day in court."

###

Victim #75: Mad As Hell

I am new to this site but have read lots on this issue. I live in Florida and have been divorced from ex for almost 4 years and have been forced to pay her support of $700.00 per month for life or until death or remarry [could only hope].

My problem is I know for a fact that ex is cohabiting but I cannot prove it to Florida court satisfaction. She makes more money than I, lives in a much nicer home and has money in the bank.

Florida does not care that I can't afford the time of day much less the fact that she got everything house, cars, contents plus lifetime extortion payments.

The question is: are you ready to make a national and local stand against this injustice to all men that want to do the right thing, men who will take care of their children if they father them, men who would do the right thing if their ex really did need $ help for a reasonable amount of time. If so stand up and let your voices be heard. We will not get it done by talking we have to act or it will be your great grand kids still paying for and unjust system nation wide..

Lets unite and take a national stand you can bet that the media and politicians will listen then .... Mad as hell and ready to take a stand.

###

Victim #74: Retirement Only A Dream

As a second wife, I can attest to the fact that second wives suffer as a result of the unjust alimony "scheme." My husband is being forced to pay over $10,000.00 a year to his ex-wife, who left him. She claimed he was an alcoholic and cheated on her many time and even had relations with young family members! (her sister and niece who were about 15 at the time!) Of course I don't believe this for a moment!

My husbands ex-wife had told us that she only needed alimony for a few years. Of course we helped as he and she had 2 daughters in college at that time.

His ex has a good job and a pension which is vested. She started to go out all the time, spending money on foolish things and then came the request for more alimony and for an extended period of time.

For the last 4 years we have been struggling to make ends meet! We have our own bills and now are facing losing our home! I have been forced at my age (62)to take on a second job to help pay for her alimony!

How can we fight this? We want to retire in a couple of years and its sad that we probably wont be able to do that!

###

Victim #73: Agony in New Jersey

I'm 62 years old, was divorced in NJ after a 28-year-marriage. She wasn't cheating, I was. No, it was not nice, but it is done. Those were not the grounds. I was somehow drawn into serving her. The judge served up child support (no issue) and lifetime alimony. Even my lawyer said it was the custom. The judge said "Don't lose your job." I did, at the end of 2001. That's where I learned about a case called Lepis v. Lepis that has made law in Jersey. You can have your change of circumstances, but you can also sell your 401(K) to keep the lady in her accustomed lifestyle.

I impoverished myself and sold my future to a stockbroker. I took my ex to court 3 times in 2002 and lost every time. My circumstances were considered "temporary." My arrested alcoholism (still is) was a "so what" matter. So were the other psychological issues that went with it. I gave up.

When I returned to work 18 months later I was immediately "wage executed" again. I was early 40% than I was in 1998 but I refused to go back to court. Instead I declared bankruptcy because I had card-kited to live during the time out of work and the salary did not cover it.

I left that job in January for a job that paid $12K more. Sixty days later it was over. You cannot debate any point even if you are not arguing in a family-held business.

No savings, no pension, no nothing. I just stopped paying. I am quite delinquent. They don't put you in jail in NJ anymore, debtor's prison is gone, but they can take your unemployment benefits. I went to see a so-called lawyer from Monmouth-Ocean Legal Services, and he said these words to me: "You have no hope."

Unemployment can be stolen but it is not a grounds for reduction. Go figure. I almost told the lawyer to drive me to the nearest bar and give me a ten dollar bill for seed money, but I didn't. I will not give my ex the satisfaction. She knows my situation--I have tried to be direct and honest with her. But I'm running out of steam. Lifetime alimony is farcical, since she works, has her own social security, a chunk of mine, and a pension. I have
nothing. But I, the great sinner, am supposed to keep paying.

I am tempted to just retire and live on nothing, but there is a vestige in me of Fight.

###

Victim #72: Mass Disobedience Is The Only Solution

I think it is pretty clear that we are heading into a major depression not just a recession. The tentacles are creeping into everything and even the standard bogus numbers produced by our fine government are starting to show serious signs of weakness (and considering how cooked those numbers are this is a major feat). I don't know of a whole lot of people who has lost their job but it seems clear that this is what is on the horizon and approaching like a runaway train.

With the standard practice of "imputing" income for child support and alimony firmly a part of the family court system there is no give if something like this happens. The numbers of men currently under orders is staggering and well into the millions, when these men start losing their jobs, their houses, their life savings, etc. the obvious solution on the part of the talking heads (who caused this mess in the first place but that is another topic) will be to swell the jail population - but that too has its limits.

Mass disobedience seems to me to be the only real possible outcome. If even 10% of the current total case load went back to court you'd clog the system well beyond its capacity to operate. Of course we've outsourced justice to organizations like Maximus who are free to take whatever they want without consequence but eventually even this level of plunder has its limits.

Child support terror operates within the framework of assets that are easy to steal, people who are easy to jail, and compliance. All of this falls apart when your primary concern is bread lines and basic survival. There are just too many parasites and not enough hosts and the standard practice of torturing the host doesn't work when the host is facing a choice of life or death if it continues to support everything the U.S. demands. It is already the case that certain acts of theft will get you less jail time than a child support contempt order will. Heck if they do the revolving contempt order (with new contempt for six months generated every month you are in jail) *murder* starts looking like a reasonable alternative.

My point is something needs to give and the U.S. has a very poor track record of ever admitting that its made a mistake. I think the last time that happened was with the repeal of prohibition and those in charge have shown that this knowledge is quickly forgotten as they continue to prosecute the war on drugs as if it made any difference.

Countries can and have existed as slave states for a time but they all eventually collapse as slave labor just isn't as efficient. People work much harder for themselves than they do for others regardless how hard you whip them. What I see happening is the run up to the fall of the Soviet Union where everyone was a slave, no one really wanted to do anything, and this apathy ran so thick that it eventually overcame the fear of being punished. Even sadist judges who enjoy torturing men need an army of loyal serfs to carry out their wishes, and if their hearts aren't really in it then nothing happens. At the very least arresting people (and housing them) is work and the police aren't going to want to go arrest 10 million men even assuming none of them turn violent and counter attack.

I realize that I am just wondering out loud here but does anyone know if any of the powers that be have even acknowledged that job loss and a new great depression might, just this once, be a teensy weensy reason why ex-wifey can't remain in Starbucks and Saks 5th avenue shoes this month? Wondering if anyone knows if any judge has resisted the jail em all mentality in light of this economic hurricane that is hitting.

###

Victim #71: Supports Ex-wife's Cohabitation Lifestyle

My father-in-law just went through this right before Thanksgiving. His ex-wife has been living with someone for 7 years. They wear rings on their wedding fingers, when the boyfriend was in the hospital he listed her on the hospital records as his wife, they are each other beneficiary if the other dies and the list goes on. My father-in-law pays her $3K a month which happens to be 50% of his income.

When they divorced she received everything but the house,which had already gone into foreclosure, which he gave it back to the bank. Since they sold it for $20,000 less then he owed he was responsible for that money . He was responsible for paying all their marital debt. She received 100% of his retirement ($150,000) which she has spent and she is the beneficiary of a million dollar life insurance policy that she will get when he dies (even though he is now remarried).

After her son turned 18 and the child support stopped she took him back to court and had the child support rolled into her alimony and won even though her 18 year old son was living with his father.

Anyway, he tried negotiating, but she would not settle for a reduction of alimony. So, based on the sb152 [Florida Senate Co-habitation Bill 152] they went to court. My husband and his brother testified on his fathers behalf.

We watch him struggle while she is going on numerous extravagant vacations (California, Vegas and a 5 day cruise all in 4 months), her boyfriends 2004 crown victorian is paid for, she had a brand new home built then remodeled it 2 years later. She makes $11/hr working 25-30 hours a week (this is a healthy women perfectly capable of working a FT job) and the boyfriend makes 30K. Her defense......he pays rent and she is his landlord. They even relocated to Orlando together.

The ruling went to the ex-wife. So, he is still paying the $3k a month and now he is also responsible for paying her attorneys fees which are $10,000. This poor man is supporting not only his ex-wife, but his ex-wife's boyfriend and the courts are allowing it. We were sure that he would win and we were terribly mistaken.

###

Victim #70: Parties Assets Consumed by Lawyers

I will share my story so people might get something from what have happened to me that might be of some help to them. I believe the better way to judge a person is to review that person's behavior patterns in the past; just like to review a person's past credit card history. If the person has repetitively defaulted the payments, the behavior patterns clearly speak the truth.

As stated in the article previously emailed to me, in general, the divorce is a waste of mutual marital assets. All disputes could be reasonably resolved if the parties could be reasonable. Before I hired my former attorney (I like him, decent attorney) to represent me during the divorce process from 1997 to 1999, I had one time consultation with the other female Boston attorney. She charged me $650 for that one hour consultation.

Because she didn't want to represent me against my ex's law firm, she said this to me: "Since I will not represent you, I will give this straight-talk advice. In the divorce, no matter which attorney or law firm you have, no matter how both parties argue in the court, the judge usually will cut the "assets pie" practically the same way he would cut for the case that was reasonable resolved. The difference is the assets pie became much smaller in an aggressively contested case." Retrospectively, she was speaking the truth. The attorneys bite away the pie; the money that could be used for both parties and the children.

In my case, my hospital employer was in financial difficulties and had to down size and cut the staff. After working 17 years for the hospital, I was laid off with 90-day advance notice. I filed complaint for modification within 5 days. Also, prior to the university graduations of two of my daughters, I also filed complaints for modification to reduce child support payments. My ex and her attorney manipulated and complicated the case into suing judges, court clerks, the Courts; based on frivolous ground. The judges became defendants themselves.

One by one, the judges recused themselves out off the case. The case "stayed" as it was. The alimony and child support were blocked for modification until three years later. By this time, I was in severe financial hardship and DOR/CSE had been misled and unjustifiably imposed sanctions against me. Although I actually over paid about 48 weeks of child support payment, all of my money in any accounts has been confiscated through SSN attachment; tax refunds intercepted; passport and medical license revoked.

After radical kidney cancer operation complicated with stage 3 chronic kidney disease of the remaining left kidney and liver problems, I filed complaint for modification again. I requested the judge to at least temporarily lift SSN attachment, so the bank will not confiscate the paycheck deposited into my account and totally give it to my ex. I requested the judge at least allow some money for my most basic life and medical needs. The judge declined; I have to go through "standard process". Most likely I have to wait until the scheduled trial before I will know how my life will be.

Even with medical conditions at age 60+, I want to support myself without burdening others or the government. Being Pro Se since 1999, very faulty Massachusetts law has pushed me off the cliff, totally strangulated me legally and financially. Imposing misled and unjustified DOR/CSE's sanctions against me only puts me further behind the long-overdue-should-have-been-modified order.

After the judge of Salem Court declined my emergency request to lift DOR/CSE's sanctions against me two days ago, without any better way out, I went to Department of Social Service Administration for governmental help. Being forced to go to Welfare Office to apply for governmental help is the darkiest moment in my life; the self esteem and the dignity ruined. Thing do not need to end up like this.

In my case just like many other cases, the issues about child support or alimony could easily and reasonably be resolved if the receiving party and the judge could be reasonable. It is very obvious and clear to me that if the husband is laid off, suffers from serious disease or the children have graduated from college and are "emancipated", court order should get modified in time. Unfortunately, through my ex's legal manipulations, I ended up in a hopeless situation with no light visible at the end of the tunnel. My ex as well as Mass divorce law are killing the cow to get the milk and killing the hen to get the eggs. My story is like a movie, it is a sad one.

My life is involuntarily messed up by the "law". I no longer young. I wish I could have the money, I rather give the money to my ex-wife to satisfy her greed and aggressiveness, so my life can move on. Have any one ever heard a never-felt-satisfied ex-wife turned around, complicated a simple divorce of "irreconcilable personality conflicts" into suing all judges, court clerks, five Mass courts whoever had ever directly or indirectly involved the case for 9+ years and continuing? Things do not have to end like this. If I could have the money, I would give to her to move on. Sadly being Pro Se since 1999, all I had had been unjustifiably and manipulatively confiscated. It is modern slavery and servitude.

Thank you for your prayer for me. I have come to realization that seeking peace from God is the only way out of this never-ending misery.

###

Victim #69: Massachusetts Injustice System

At Salem Court on October 30, there were two other child support / alimony related cases immediately before the judge heard my case. The first man was a white Caucasian in the late 40's or early 50's. He stated he had been unemployed living in a government shelter. His ex-wife was represented by an attorney.

After hearing, he was hands cuffed, ankles chained, taken away immediately by the court police and sentenced to jail for 10 days. The second man was a hispanic in mid-30's. He stated he tried to find job; he got one. But he was laid off after couple months. He is still looking for another job; but he could not get one so far. He was hands cuffed, ankles chained, taken away immediately by the court police and sentenced to jail for 30 days on the spot. Then, it was our case. I was Pro Se; my ex was represented by her Boston attorney.

Because I was able to present to the judge that I actually over paid 48 weeks of child support, the judge did not imprison me on the spot. For the alimony issue, the judge set a trial date on Feb. 10, 2009.

Massachusetts legal system is very faulty; it critically needs reform. Massachusetts is likely the only state that puts the emancipation age of the child at age 23 if enrolled as a full time student (Google search). Even my daughter graduated in June 2007 from university and she has been fully employed with annual income of $59,000, I was ordered to continue paying child support until April 2008 (age 23) simply because I did not file complaint for modification before her university graduation in June 2007.

I can not go back to my country now, because my passport has been revoked as a result of my ex's legal manipulation even though I over paid child support. My story could be a movie, a sad story. But I realize now that I am not alone. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude should exist in the United States. Unfortunately, we are actually in this modern slavery.

###

Victim #68: False Domestic Violence Accusations

It is amazing how many false filings take place. I used to be naive and ignorant and when I heard of a woman accusing a bf or husband of domestic violence my first thought was "what an SOB that guy was". Having going through divorce and the dirty tactics that are used, I do not believe one single domestic violence case unless there is video evidence.

I still remember the final straw in my marriage. My wife was drunk as a skunk as always. We were on our way of splitting up. She said she was going to call 911. I asked why. She said she was going to tell them I hit her. I laughed and said that I had never laid a hand on her in our entire life, they would never believe her. She said she would make sure she had bruises on her before the police arrived. That sent chills up my spine. I knew then it was time to go through a divorce.

It also sent chills up my spine because it is exactly what was said to a neighbor of mine a year earlier when they got divorced. It was obvious the two women had been talking..........

###

Victim #67: Mass Disobedience is the Only Answer

I think it is pretty clear that we are heading into a major depression not just a recession. The tentacles are creeping into everything and even the standard bogus numbers produced by our fine government are starting to show serious signs of weakness (and considering how cooked those numbers are this is a major feat). I don't know of a whole lot of people who has lost their job but it seems clear that this is what is on the horizon and approaching like a runaway train.

With the standard practice of "imputing" income for child support and alimony firmly a part of the family court system there is no give if something like this happens. The numbers of men currently under orders is staggering and well into the millions, when these men start losing their jobs, their houses, their life savings, etc. the obvious solution on the part of the talking heads (who caused this mess in the first place but that is another topic) will be to swell the jail population - but that too has its limits.

Mass disobedience seems to me to be the only real possible outcome. If even 10% of the current total case load went back to court you'd clog the system well beyond its capacity to operate. Of course we've outsourced justice to organizations like Maximus who are free to take whatever they want without consequence but eventually even this level of plunder has its limits.

Child support terror operates within the framework of assets that are easy to steal, people who are easy to jail, and compliance. All of this falls apart when your primary concern is bread lines and basic survival. There are just too many parasites and not enough hosts and the standard practice of torturing the host doesn't work when the host is facing a choice of life or death if it continues to support everything the U.S. demands. It is already the case that certain acts of theft will get you less jail time than a child support contempt order will. Heck if they do the revolving contempt order (with new contempt for six months generated every month you are in jail) *murder* starts looking like a reasonable alternative.

My point is something needs to give and the U.S. has a very poor track record of ever admitting that its made a mistake. I think the last time that happened was with the repeal of prohibition and those in charge have shown that this knowledge is quickly forgotten as they continue to prosecute the war on drugs as if it made any difference.

Countries can and have existed as slave states for a time but they all eventually collapse as slave labor just isn't as efficient. People work much harder for themselves than they do for others regardless how hard you whip them. What I see happening is the run up to the fall of the Soviet Union where everyone was a slave, no one really wanted to do anything, and this apathy ran so thick that it eventually overcame the fear of being punished. Even sadist judges who enjoy torturing men need an army of loyal serfs to carry out their wishes, and if their hearts aren't really in it then nothing happens. At the very least arresting people (and housing them) is work and the police aren't going to want to go arrest 10 million men even assuming none of them turn violent and counter attack.

I realize that I am just wondering out loud here but does anyone know if any of the powers that be have even acknowledged that job loss and a new great depression might, just this once, be a teensy weensy reason why ex-wifey can't remain in Starbucks and Saks 5th avenue shoes this month? Wondering if anyone knows if any judge has resisted the jail em all mentality in light of this economic hurricane that is hitting.

###

Victim #66: Lesson Learned Late

The "Legal system" involved in divorce is perverted, corrupt, and morally bankrupt. A woman who has planned this out well can call 911 and falsely claim domestic abuse which involves the inept criminal justice system. The public perception is that all of these are legimate and that these men are dogs. That puts the husband immediately on the defensive. Then comes the restraining order along with the divorce papers.

This is a legal way that you can literally get kicked out of your own home and I have seen it happen. Usually the domestic violence charges are dropped....for say 20 grand....because real domestic violence is a felony conviction and it may affect your ability to earn income....they don't want to kill the golden goose. Their intent is to always have a legal advantage and the lawyers know that all of this is just a game.

Married men in this country are at risk every day and they don't have a clue. Somehow the average Joe needs to know that every time he works overtime, every time that he takes a course or training, every time that he tries to better himself and his family educationally or financially he is putting himself at greater and greater risk. THAT is what the American Man needs to understand. I learned it too late.

###

Victim #66: Pitfall of Imputing Income in These Economic Times

I don't know of a whole lot of people who has lost their job but it seems clear that this is what is on the horizon and approaching like a runaway train. With the standard practice of "imputing" income for child support and alimony firmly a part of the family court system there is no give if something like this happens.

The numbers of men currently under orders is staggering and well into the millions, when these men start losing their jobs, their houses, their life savings, etc. the obvious solution on the part of the talking heads (who caused this mess in the first place but that is another topic) will be to swell the jail population - but that too has its limits.

Mass disobedience seems to me to be the only real possible outcome. If even 10% of the current total case load went back to court you'd clog the system well beyond its capacity to operate. Of course we've outsourced justice to organizations like Maximus who are free to take whatever they want without consequence but eventually even this level of plunder has its limits.

Child support terror operates within the framework of assets that are easy to steal, people who are easy to jail, and compliance. All of this falls apart when your primary concern is bread lines and basic survival. There are just too many parasites and not enough hosts and the standard practice of torturing the host doesn't work when the host is facing a choice of life or death if it continues to support everything the U.S. demands.

It is already the case that certain acts of theft will get you less jail time than a child support contempt order will. Heck if they do the revolving contempt order (with new contempt for six months generated every month you are in jail) *murder* starts looking like a reasonable alternative.

My point is something needs to give and the U.S. has a very poor track record of ever admitting that its made a mistake. I think the last time that happened was with the repeal of prohibition and those in charge have shown that this knowledge is quickly forgotten as they continue to prosecute the war on drugs as if it made any difference.

Countries can and have existed as slave states for a time but they all eventually collapse as slave labor just isn't as efficient. People work much harder for themselves than they do for others regardless how hard you whip them. What I see happening is the run up to the fall of the Soviet Union where everyone was a slave, no one really wanted to do anything, and this apathy ran so thick that it eventually overcame the fear of being punished.

Even sadist judges who enjoy torturing men need an army of loyal serfs to carry out their wishes, and if their hearts aren't really in it then nothing happens. At the very least arresting people (and housing them) is work and the police aren't going to want to go arrest 10 million men even assuming none of them turn violent and counter attack.

I realize that I am just wondering out loud here but does anyone know if any of the powers that be have even acknowledged that job loss and a new great depression might, just this once, be a teensy weensy reason why ex-wifey can't remain in Starbucks and Saks 5th avenue shoes this month? Wondering if anyone knows if any judge has resisted the "jail em all" mentality in light of this economic hurricane that is hitting.

###

Victim #65: Second Wives At Risk

I can only speak for MA, but the courts absolutely go after a second wife's assets and income when calculating an alimony award after modification. Technically, the second wife's income/assets are only supposed to be included if a purposeful transfer of assets has been proven to avoid alimony.

All of us have been to court and know what really happens, my husband and my self have a prenup - are not in business together - do not file taxes together - have separate bank accounts, but the MA courts used my income added to my husband's income to calculate the payment to my husband's former wife - her income increased by $14,000 after our marriage. Reasoning of the court - my husband now had more excess income to pay alimony - he supports her, I support him.

This almost split us up - but then I got mad - and I have made it my mission to change the law in MA; but my advice, don't get married, commit to each other, but protect the person you love from this same type of court abuse - what does a marriage license mean anyway except a license for an ex-spouse to go after more income.

###

Victim #64: Judge Wants Victim to Work Overtime to Pay Alimony

And just how many ex spouses can we be ordered to support?

I would still like to see a list of how much money everyone pays to support an ex spouse. What is an, "ex spouse," really worth? Might there be some injustice in the differing dollar amounts we pay?

Was it illegal for the female judge to order me to liquidate my 401(k) retirement account to pay for my ex's attorney bills? When her attorney found I didn't have enough money to cover his bill, he was kind enough to let me make additional payments over two years, interest free! What a guy!

Maybe the female judge figured that since I was a Registered Nurse, I might enjoy helping strangers going through a period of illness in their lives, so I wouldn't mind working an extra 13 hour weekend shift every week for the rest of my life, to support an abusive, and at times, mentally ill ex, that set a fire in the house, and frequently threatened to kill me, for stupid things like making eye contact with someone, or walking into a neighbors home.

The judge, most likely thought I enjoyed it when my ex accused me of having affairs with her friends, her daughter's friends, my sister, my Mother, and, what brought me to the breaking point, our two Long coat Chihuahua's.

God help me. I pay $1395.00 a month. I know Doctors and Attorneys that pay less, or nothing at all! How much do Judges pay in alimony cases to their exs?

###

Victim #63: Government Enforced Slavery

Who would have thought that people react negatively to being made into slaves - which is what this is. Forcing another human being to work for the sole benefit of someone else punishable by violence. Slavery on a large industrial scale as we have it today with alimony and child support absolutely requires government to enforce it. Only the government is large enough, impersonal enough, and brutal enough to keep the beast fed.

I don't remember where I read this but it was an article about the manner in which Africans were transported to the American colonies. They were kept below decks, which of course in the sun and heat caused multiple cases of heat stroke and increased casualties, thereby increasing the cost (for those of African decent please forgive the brutality of bringing up money and not humanity as the controlling factor - it is sadly the truth then as it is today). So why didn't the slavers let their cargo on deck? It wasn't that they were worried about mutiny - they crew had the muskets and swords. It was because many of the people they were transporting would rather throw themselves overboard then become slaves.

Today we have a simple solution for this, we simply ignore the fact that men are killing themselves in record numbers and just bring it up as another reason men are bad as compared to the moral superiority of the female. Heck i've seen comments in forums where feminist A complains that her ex killed himself and feminists B - Z are furious at the guy because he had an ex he was to support and this slight was proof that he was going to hell. He should have worked harder and made sure he had a life insurance policy or three that paid out even in the event of suicide.

This is what we are dealing with and the only solution to such cruelty is just to walk away. The government makes money based on our misery, many men are too busy working to think it could happen to them, and when you get down to it 90% of women (even those married to men having to pay this) support it because when the chips are down they too would take the money if offered. Salvation from such, when a bulk majority is for such a pogrom, can only come about with the elimination of those enslaved or complete collapse of the system.

I believe the current economic depression may provide for the latter. As men lose their jobs and the jails fill up with arrears slaves, the costs to the government will be enormous. Heck one or two slaves may decide as Sengbe Pieh (aka Joseph Cinque) did that they won't go quietly. Of course in the case of the Amistad they were eventually freed through law and we all know that would never happen here and now with such a despicable act especially one that is so against "THE CHILDREN!!!" (i.e. our ex's who can't seem to find that equality means they should actually support themselves) 10 million dads going to jail is just too much even for our current budding police state.

###

The 3rd Race at the Honeymoon Is Over Downs

Now for a moment of levity. The following video is hilarious. Be sure to watch it.

###

Victim #62: Lifetime Sentence in Virginia

In 2002 my divorce was final and following my attorneys advice sat quietly as the judge gave my soon to be ex lifetime alimony. The sum of which leveled me. Her lawyer and the judge both agreed that I could get another job to survive after they took almost half my months earnings.

A month later we were back in court and that amount was reduced to 350.00 a month. But the fact remained that she would get this amount either until she remarried or deid. Lifetime alimony! Again I sat there quietly as she was given all my retirement savings, the equity in the house, (the land was never put in our name). I had no idea then that I could appeal this or even limit it's existence.

Here I am 5 years later and every time I look at my pay stub I see those words. Spousal support. Since the day our divorce was finalized she has lived rent free with her aunt. Has been fired from a few jobs and payed her truck payment with her credit cards. (We split those and I paid my half off, she bankrupted hers this year.) Now she has a full time job and no desire to better herself unless you count nails and hair. No further education. She still has no rent or mortage, no utilities and now no debts to pay.

I work full time and make good money and pay all my debts. It burns my tail some times when I see that 1 out of 4 of my checks go to her and will for life. I have thought about taking her back to court but fear that she will get more instead of less, that would just about kill me. I live in Virginia and believe this is not a state a man would want to divorce in. I was being sentenced before the divorce was over and now have a lifetime sentence to someone I care to have nothing to do with.

What can I do? Do I have any options?

###

Victim #61: Some Women Give Others A Bad Name

My husband and I recently married. I've known him for years and years and was fully aware of the alimony order in place from their divorce 4 years ago. They were only married for 10 years.

Problem is that she became enraged when she found out that we got married and had the audacity to purchase a new home. The one thing that she doesn't know is that I make considerably more money than he does (about 3x). So everything that we have is because I purchased it.

Long story short, she's taking him back to court for payment of arrearages owed (from when he was unemployed in 2003 and the alimony was $350 a week) and for contempt of court. The contempt charges stem from the credit reporting bureaus.

When they divorced they had a considerable amount of credit card debt which of course he got so kindly ordered to pay. But during the time which he was unemployed he was unable to make the payments on time every time. He didn't miss a single payment and hasn't since, but some were late and since the credit was in both their names it got reported to her SSN also. So she is suing him for not "holding her harmless".

This woman is highly educated, a former school teacher and now a paralegal making almost double his income.

I've tried researching the laws in our state to see if I can find any way to get out of this ridiculous obligation, but the only information that I can find is geared towards the recipient. I can't find a single law, judgment, or ruling that protects the payor.

I'm sorry, but it's women that do these sort of things that give the rest of us a bad name!

###

Victim #60: Right to Choose Own Employment Denied to Former Husband

Something that blows me away is that if you divorce and have an alimony obligation, they can prevent you from changing careers if that meant less money was available to support the "entitled" party.

How did we lose this right to choose our own employment situation simply because we got divorced?

I am considering doing this, and had a chat with my attorney Friday about the ramifications of doing this - and was warned "don't".

This brings up another constitutional issue (I think - but maybe I am wrong)...when did her rights supersede my rights? I can understand if we were talking about a child, but we're talking about another adult. So if you are married or single or divorced without any alimony obligation, you are free to do whatever you want employment wise - but if you have an alimony obligation, you are essentially a slave.

My attorney said "well if you can get a doctor in to testify that you are sick and continuing to work in this line of work will eventually kill you"... I probably can get such testimony - but it burns me up that I would have to go to that trouble...whatever happened to I just don't like doing this anymore and would like to do something else?

Why is it the court's business what I choose to do? I'm stuck where I'm at. I have to continue to do a job I don't like because it benefits another adult who has an entitlement at my expense. If I quit and do something else, then I am voluntarily underemployed and they can still attribute my previous salary regardless of what I am making....that is the crux of my complaint though...how can this not be some violation of my rights to tell me what I can and cannot do to earn a living and that I have to make "x" amount of dollars or more....

And they wonder why violence happens....

###

Victim #59: Cohabitating Ex Uses Children as a Weapon

There are minor children involved and we have NO problem paying child support, my husband went to mediation first never a lawyer (his mistake) but he thought it was for the best not to have a long battle.

His ex definitely uses the children as a weapon to hurt my husband, but he knows that and does not try to let it get to him... As for co-habituating,we know her boyfriend has free access to the house and is there just about every night.

We stopped paying alimony and she took us to court, we had documentation including pictures when we went to court..the judge still found my husband in contempt and now we have an evedentury hearing on May 23...Since that first court hearing we have not seen his car at the house, but my husbands youngest who is almost 6 told us " mommy picks up Paul so, daddy doesn't no he is here and then we take him to his house in the Morning!!!!"

So we feel lost and defeated our lawyer is no help and we are broke...about to lose our house, our car so if you could help I would not know how to thank you...My husband is very smart and could totally represent himself with the right help!!! Thanks again!!!

BTW- His ex- was working full time during the divorce and has now dropped to part time, and she does not even work in the field where she has a degree...she could be making twice as much as my husband...but why work when your getting a free 2400.00 a month!!!!

###

Victim #58: Typical Parent Alienation Syndrome in Progress

My husband was married for 18 years. His wife ruined him with debt while he was traveling the country as a computer consultant.

His job was out-sourced to India and he has become a regular employee of the computer services company he did the consulting work for, at around half the pay. The court did not seem to see this as his best recourse nor understand that what looked like an elevated salary as a consultant should have been seen in light of his responsibility for paying taxes and his families health care, to provide another residence for himself in another state and a huge travel expense in order to see his children at all.

The court did not address this situation, which he substantiated with company executives testifying in his defense. He was found to be voluntarily under employed and the court upheld the 2,000 dollars a month for life.

The appeals court did not even address his ex's increased salary. In retrospect, he should never have involved himself in a divorce until after the job changed. However, getting wind of the job crisis, his ex filed. He shouldered all of the family debt and asked for joint custody of his then minor children.

He moved from an apartment that did not have identified sex offenders in the complex to something suitable to share custody of his children. The court berated him for the extra expense.

Our lawyer felt it a lost cause to move to appeal the State Court of Appeal decision; better to establish a new strategy for a change of circumstance. We have spent borrowed money on his defense. We have borrowed money to avoid a contempt charge. He does very specialized work that requires an "on-call" availability that makes an additional job problematic at the very least.

He is not able to provide what he would like to do for his now young adult children. The children and first wife feel obligated to some privileged status. His ex has made his son and daughter believe he is a deadbeat and does not love them. They have deserted him.

His son was encouraged to default on a twenty thousand dollar student loan his father co-signed, and his daughter has tattooed a RIP eulogy for her father on her arm after he was unable to give her a car. I am so worried about his health in the face of the added betrayal of his children..

We are looking for advise on building a future case and affiliation with any group advocating change.

###

Did You Know? Alimony Videos

Alimony: A lottery

Alimony: A Wedding Scene

Victim #57: Court Involves Second Wife's Income To Pay Her Husband's Alimony

I am still completely dumb struck by what happen to us in court this week. I am going to restrain myself from calling my husband's former spouse names...although I have come up with some very creative ones lately.... But if there was ever a case of injustice, this is one.

When my husband and his former spouse divorced, he was far more honorable and generous with making sure she was going to be financially okay. It is a complicated story of the wife and children being involved in a cult like religion and when he would no longer be involved in the religion, they shunned him. The divorce came shortly there after and my husband gets stuck with a life sentence of crazy alimony.

Last summer my husband lost his job, after a bit of push and shove, a modification, she had the audacity to come after my income on the grounds of total household income. After almost $9,000 in legal fees, the only good news was my husband didn't have to go to jail; but his new order is to give her $510.00 a week, yes a week until she reaches the age of 65.

She earns $31,500.00 a year on her on and he has to provide another $26,520.00. I feel as if someone flicked the crazy switch in the court system. We learned we have no rights.

I am a strong headed tenacious Irish woman and I just can't roll over and give up; this injustice offends me as a citizen of the United States.

###

Victim#56: The Reality of Divorce

My husband is wonderful, my marriage is not my nightmare. My nightmare has come at the hands of my own government in Family and Probate Court.

After years of being divorced during which time I was a hard working contributing member of society, I met and married my husband - to find love and a partner for the balance of my life was a dream come true at my age.

My nightmare began when my husband lost his job. You see, he was married at 20 and divorced at 41; his former wife, although she is highly educated and works in the allied nursing profession, has been awarded alimony because their marriage was considered a long term marriage.

This became my nightmare when the court determined that my income, that of the second spouse, should go to paying alimony to the first spouse because my new husband was out of work and didn't have the income to meet his alimony obligation on his own. You have read correctly, the second wife is expected to contribute to the support of the fist wife.

I want to emphasize: This is not child support, the children are grown and on their own. The first wife received 80% of all assets at the time of divorce, she is healthy and quite capable of supporting herself, she earns a salary in excess of her expenses. But because of draconian laws and practices in our Family Court system her former husband is expected to pay, pay, pay alimony for a very long time and now I am expected to do so also. One former spouse has a life of financial ease the other former spouse has a life of financial burden with no opportunity for retirement, career change of a peaceful life.

This is the reality of divorce / marriage and the intrusion of archaic laws in modern day life.

###

Victim #55: Neither Party Won In The Divorce

My lawyer---------------$15,000
Her lawyer------------ --$17,000
Forensic accountant--- --$31,000
Mediator-------------- ---$3,500

Total------------------ -$66,500

Am I a doctor, a lawyer, CEO????? I am a mechanic who saved up and bought his own shop, worked 12 hour, 6 days a week, bought two warehouses and lost everything.

Is she better off, nope-alone, bitterness in her face, smoking, unhappy and broke.

My daughter? Better off. Nope, I can't pay her a dime for college. My two boys? Nope, flunking out of their fifth primary school.

And florida gets involved for what?

###

Victim #54: Second Wife Finds No Justice From Judges

My story is a very long one so I will give you the gist of it. Yes I am a second wife, my husbands X had cheated on him and left him for other men during the last six years they were married, she had been seeing the same guy for the last four years of the marriage and was in and out of the house. Every time she wanted back in the marital home she attempted suicide for simpathy. Well she did end up finally leaving for the boyfriend that is when my husband and I got together.

My husband filed for divorce after she moved in with the boyfriend. A few months later we received a phone call that once again she had attempted suicide she shot herself in the face with the boyfriends gun that she had taken form his home that she was living in at the time with him. The divorce proceedings were put on hold while she recovered (YES she survived even though the bullet went through her brain).

Once recovered and was back living with the boyfriend is when the nightmare began. She then filed for divorce even though my husband had filed a year earlier. The Judge awarded her lifetime alimony due to she was now disabled and on SSDI, forced my husband to sell their marital home. She got all the proceeds, plus he was to maintain a $100,000.00 life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary.

She let about a year go by and she wanted more, so she filed a modifacation. This took about another year to get through because she was trying to involve all of my personel info just to aggrivate me. She was not happy when she found out we had married.

Well the Judge modified the alimony from $150.00 per week to $400.00 per week even though she could not proove any change of circumstance except that her SSDI had increased twice since the divorce. Now we are in and out of court for contempt because we can not afford this. We have lost so much just trying to keep up.

In August the Judge sent my husband to Jail for not paying her attorney fees which she was also awarded because we did not have the money to pay (Thank God for friends and family they helped me get him out). Meanwhile his attorney withdrew so we were trying to go pro-se. That did not work so we retained a new attorney on a credit card and have filed for a modifacation to lower the amount but realistically don't think the Judge will lower it.

I have also been getting involved in the Jail4Judges where they have to be accountable for their actions and realize once they are appointed, it's a whatever mood I'm in, is what the ruling will be and there are no worries aboout loosing my position.

This also comes from my side of the story. Let's put it this way, same Judge and yet my X owes over $60,000.00 in back child support and still continues not to pay. I have agreed to let him lower the payments twice and still nothing. He is in contempt and has been since 2001 he walks out of court every time with a slap on the wrist.

So I agree in ending lifetime alimony, but I also think the Judges are to blame the laws need to be changed. I have contacted some local papers along with people that are running for Govenors Council and Govenor but one voice can't due it.

###

Victim #53: Prefers Jail to Paying Alimony

Big mistake getting married. Now both of your incomes become one and the more money and assets the more the judge is going to take away from you. I did the same (got Married) and to my surprise my alimony went up from $1200.00 to $1500.00 a month because I was also unable to pay her alimony on time due to "change in circumstances".

I had to divorce my second wife, because she did not think it was fair for her having to work and helping me give my other ex-wife such an obnocious amount of money. And she was totally right. So, we the slaves have no rights, no future, and not a chance to have a decent life as long as we have to pay another working adult what the LAW calls ALIMONY.

That is my situation. I quit my job in Miami and came to Puerto Rico to have some peace of mind and start a new life. I was "WRONG". The judge in Broward County (Alan Marks) told me that that was my choice and that I was underemployed. Well so are thousands here with degrees that can find a decent job. My average salary here is about $1400.00 a month and I still have to pay my Ex $900.00 a month.

I am so tired of working to have to support her that I am about to not give her anything else and just go to jail. At least there I will have 3 meals a day and a place to sleep.

###

Victim #52: A Letter To A Reuter's Reporter Regarding Divorce Article

MS Stern:

Your Reuter's article from Washington is well taken, giving excellent advice to the divorcing spouse. The article is gender biased but I would like to assume it applies to the many women who are paying alimony. But lets take a look at how it really works based on my personal experience, which is typical of most "experiences" by the male giver in a divorce situation.

My "X" did hire all of the consultants you recommended and I had none, being quite naive at the time. So the bottom line was that she ended up with lifetime alimony (her life). This means that I can never remarry with a state license for fear of my new spouse being sued for alimony payments. The "X" is litigious to a fault. The "family law system" has also made it illegal for me to marry without a license.

She received 100% of the market value of the house, I made up the difference between what it actually sold for and the "market" value. That and other cash entitlements that her consultants felt she needed meant that I ended up with negative cash flow and was required to sell all (three pieces) of the North Georgia property I received in the settlement.

That left me with $199 of a 30 year aerospace pension, no savings, and no social security as I developed a heart condition and had to retire before social security started.

So I am now 70 years old, have a significant other and we live up here in the mountains on my social security. We don't use the air conditioner and cut our wood for heat in the winter. We do odd jobs to supplement the social security. Our entertainment is Saturday night when we go to Arbys and Wally World.

The "X" vacations in Australia and Europe and makes two trips from her gated community in the Sail Fish Capitol of the World to Connecticut in her Chrysler convertible. This year she plans a trip to England.

Please take another look. Interview some men. Get the real story.

###

Victim #51: The More They Get, The More They Want

My husband has to pay permanent alimony to his Ex-wife XXXX.

1992 XXXX had an affair and filed for divorce. Everything was split in half. She received $600,000.00 and he paid for her Master’s degree at Columbia University. He also paid for her Bachelors degree. He had to pay $3500.00 month alimony.

He had (Whole Life) Ins. policy that she wanted cashed in. She received the full amount of $98,455.29. Then she wanted (Term Life) Ins. policy. Term means limited period of time. She was the (owner (meaning in control) and beneficiary) of the 7-year term policy and he made the payments.

He was diagnosed with Early Alzheimer’s December 1998 and had to quit work as a Physician. He took her back to court May 1999 to get alimony eliminated but the (mediator) Judge would only lower it to $2100.00 a month and now they gave it to her tax-free. They said it was because he was getting his disability tax-free.

April 2002 Michael took her back to court because she is teaching at a School of Art & Design in XXXX & was working at XXXX & has a live in XXXX (who is a Family Law Attorney.) They have been together since March of 1994. They won’t marry because she would loose her alimony.

After finding out she was fired from XXXX his attorney was going to stop the proceeding but she counter-sued because the (term) policy was going to expire and she wanted $250,000.00 to replace that policy.

When we realized that Judge Thompson wasn’t aware of the WHOLE life policy our Attorney wanted to present more facts and the Judge didn’t want to hear anymore. The Judge ruled Michael had done an anticipatory breach by not keeping the TERM policy SHE OWNED in effect. The Policy stated it could not be converted.

Judge Thompson didn’t raise or lower alimony and said NO to the $250,000.00. She took it to the appellant court. We couldn’t tell the appellant court he had a whole life because we had not told Judge Thompson. The 3 Judges granted her $250,000.00 to receive if he dies before her and she is still eligible. Yet alimony is supposed to stop when he dies. They are treating the Insurance policy as though it were a WHOLE life.

This lawsuit that started in 2002 is not over. Next court date is with a new Judge that really doesn’t know the case. So far we have paid $63,019.41 for his attorney and the Judge made him pay $51,591.68 to her attorney and She is now asking for $7,500,00 more in fees.

[Editor's note: Notice the transfer of wealth of approx. $117,000 from the parties assets to the bank accounts of lawyers. The legal industry profits immensely from adversarial relationships resulting from one of the parties greed along with the blessing of the family law court injustice system. They show no mercy on the sick and suffering while rewarding egregious behavior.]

She is still teaching Interior Design at XXXX and since 2003 is the Interior Designer at XXXX in XXXX. The law is allowing these men and women receiving alimony to get a free ride and it is not fair. Permanent alimony should be abolished. Please change the law now. My husband will need his money for his care.

------------------------------------

Want to lower your alimony payments? Find out how by clicking here.

###

Victim #50: Lifetime Alimony Award Infers Women Unable To Support Themselves

My wife and I have been sleeping in difference rooms for about 8 years. I was very upset for her spending tens of thousands of dollars without even telling me until I found out from the credit report. This has happened 4 times in the past 10 years --- over $100k has gone while I have no idea what she has bought – she does not want to show me the credit card statement at all.

I stay in this marriage for the kids and I want to spend more time with them. Also, I have been suspicious that she is gay, but I am too busy to look around for the evidence. Really a very unhappy family life. Then I had an affair last year. My daughter found out recently and told my wife. Then my wife filed divorce (though I had been thinking of filing too after kids are older, the two young kids are 15 yrs now, oldest is 19 yrs).

My take-home is about $11k, hers is about $3.5k (she has a part-time job, could be working full-time). Then her attorney sent me a letter stating that I need to pay her permanent alimony of $6.5k monthly. Even my wife said that she would not get that amount but the attorney put the number there, I guess it is for negotiation purpose. We have one house and a second vacation house on mortgage.

I talked with one of the top family law attorney in south Florida here, who said that I may need to pay $4.5k lifelong alimony, which will leave me less than $1000 after the mortgage, child support and alimony. And another one said $1.5k - 2.5k alimony.

I have been thinking how unfair it is, if the law in Florida is to award a lifelong alimony to one spouse just by making the payer spouse poor or as a kind of punishment by even making the payer spouse not living a happy life after divorce, since FL is a no-fault state, while the purpose of the law is to have both spouse maintain the current life standards.

Nowadays, the world is talking about human rights and equality. The lifelong alimony is certainly swaying from this and putting women into a weaker position, because it assumes that women can NOT support themselves after divorce, that women will NOT gain the right of making a living by themselves, and that women are denied of the right of education!

-30-