I will share my story so people might get something from what have happened to me that might be of some help to them. I believe the better way to judge a person is to review that person's behavior patterns in the past; just like to review a person's past credit card history. If the person has repetitively defaulted the payments, the behavior patterns clearly speak the truth.
As stated in the article previously emailed to me, in general, the divorce is a waste of mutual marital assets. All disputes could be reasonably resolved if the parties could be reasonable. Before I hired my former attorney (I like him, decent attorney) to represent me during the divorce process from 1997 to 1999, I had one time consultation with the other female Boston attorney. She charged me $650 for that one hour consultation.
Because she didn't want to represent me against my ex's law firm, she said this to me: "Since I will not represent you, I will give this straight-talk advice. In the divorce, no matter which attorney or law firm you have, no matter how both parties argue in the court, the judge usually will cut the "assets pie" practically the same way he would cut for the case that was reasonable resolved. The difference is the assets pie became much smaller in an aggressively contested case." Retrospectively, she was speaking the truth. The attorneys bite away the pie; the money that could be used for both parties and the children.
In my case, my hospital employer was in financial difficulties and had to down size and cut the staff. After working 17 years for the hospital, I was laid off with 90-day advance notice. I filed complaint for modification within 5 days. Also, prior to the university graduations of two of my daughters, I also filed complaints for modification to reduce child support payments. My ex and her attorney manipulated and complicated the case into suing judges, court clerks, the Courts; based on frivolous ground. The judges became defendants themselves.
One by one, the judges recused themselves out off the case. The case "stayed" as it was. The alimony and child support were blocked for modification until three years later. By this time, I was in severe financial hardship and DOR/CSE had been misled and unjustifiably imposed sanctions against me. Although I actually over paid about 48 weeks of child support payment, all of my money in any accounts has been confiscated through SSN attachment; tax refunds intercepted; passport and medical license revoked.
After radical kidney cancer operation complicated with stage 3 chronic kidney disease of the remaining left kidney and liver problems, I filed complaint for modification again. I requested the judge to at least temporarily lift SSN attachment, so the bank will not confiscate the paycheck deposited into my account and totally give it to my ex. I requested the judge at least allow some money for my most basic life and medical needs. The judge declined; I have to go through "standard process". Most likely I have to wait until the scheduled trial before I will know how my life will be.
Even with medical conditions at age 60+, I want to support myself without burdening others or the government. Being Pro Se since 1999, very faulty Massachusetts law has pushed me off the cliff, totally strangulated me legally and financially. Imposing misled and unjustified DOR/CSE's sanctions against me only puts me further behind the long-overdue-should-have-been-modified order.
After the judge of Salem Court declined my emergency request to lift DOR/CSE's sanctions against me two days ago, without any better way out, I went to Department of Social Service Administration for governmental help. Being forced to go to Welfare Office to apply for governmental help is the darkiest moment in my life; the self esteem and the dignity ruined. Thing do not need to end up like this.
In my case just like many other cases, the issues about child support or alimony could easily and reasonably be resolved if the receiving party and the judge could be reasonable. It is very obvious and clear to me that if the husband is laid off, suffers from serious disease or the children have graduated from college and are "emancipated", court order should get modified in time. Unfortunately, through my ex's legal manipulations, I ended up in a hopeless situation with no light visible at the end of the tunnel. My ex as well as Mass divorce law are killing the cow to get the milk and killing the hen to get the eggs. My story is like a movie, it is a sad one.
My life is involuntarily messed up by the "law". I no longer young. I wish I could have the money, I rather give the money to my ex-wife to satisfy her greed and aggressiveness, so my life can move on. Have any one ever heard a never-felt-satisfied ex-wife turned around, complicated a simple divorce of "irreconcilable personality conflicts" into suing all judges, court clerks, five Mass courts whoever had ever directly or indirectly involved the case for 9+ years and continuing? Things do not have to end like this. If I could have the money, I would give to her to move on. Sadly being Pro Se since 1999, all I had had been unjustifiably and manipulatively confiscated. It is modern slavery and servitude.
Thank you for your prayer for me. I have come to realization that seeking peace from God is the only way out of this never-ending misery.