As I look back on it my former spouse planned the divorce. I had a heart attack and she refused to drive me to the hospital, I had to drive myself. Then after my surgery, she took time off work, supposedly to take care of me? But when I returned to work, she didn't go back to HER job. I had the heart attack---SHE quit working...was this planned...I think sooo!
Instead she filed for divorce, telling me she couldn't work full time and since I no longer could work 1 job and my part time job...she decided that bringing in her high school sweetheart to live in the house and me leaving would benefit her financially.
She told me that if I didn't go---she would claim that I abused her and I would be thrown in jail. I'm not really a very big guy---and am scared to death of what happens to you in jail. I had never laid a hand on her---ever...but knew a neighbor who had been blamed for something he didn't do. Face it---the MEN are never believed if the women are good liars?...and sooooo really it's about them holding you hostage within your own marriage.
At the time, I was confused and drained, so I left. For a life...on the street---I guess? I wasn't really sure where I was going or what I was doing. I called my best friend from work and told her what had happened. She and her husband invited me to come to their home temporarily to recuperate and organize myself. It was a calm place with no fighting...very quiet and peaceful. I was given my own room and bath, clean towels and fresh linens, washer/dryer access and whatever I needed to eat. That's when I decided that it's OK to just have the clothes on your back and your golf clubs.
Since that time, these people have fronted legal funds, protected me from having a nervous breakdown and pretty much become my family. They refuse to allow any contact from the former spouse. She is NOT welcome to call, come in the vicinity of their home nor will they have ANY contact with her, although she has tried, they politely refuse interaction.
The high school sweetheart turned out to be an ex-con/drug/alcohol abuser and her plans slowly unraveled as our divorce proceeded. Now---it seems very apparent to me that she was being coached by a combination of her attorney, the divorced female neighbor next door and a few women she knew who had filed "untrue" claims but won.
I was exhausted and I thought it was soooo obvious, that the court would see right through her "game". What I NOW know...is that the courts believe whoever is the best liar. Our proceedings are continuing---5 years later
...this time I am taking her back for enforcement of the final judgment, to which SHE did NOT adhere, even with me giving her $2500 per month...she called the other night on her "marathon"...dialing gig, crying that she has no money--asking "why" I was doing this?---Why---I thought? because my checking account was garnished and my parents were harassed and threatened with a lien on their home because of bills that the former spouse did NOT pay
I refused to listen to whining and begging...I hung up time and time again. Yesterday, she began the charade calling the office...again...I refused to take her call or listen to any pleading. It doesn't matter to me anymore.
This time I AM filing the restraining order against her....with the notation that ALL communication/negotiation is to be done through MY attorney, not me. She thinks that since she is PRO SE that she doesn't have to go to court??...confused ...?? I think she doesn't understand that I really don't care anymore. In fact, I will take great pleasure in making her look foolish in court this time.
SHE didn't do what she was told to do---I did. She intentionally "under/unemployed" herself, which was very obvious the last time we were in mediation. Even the mediator said---how can you make less than minimum wage working 40 hours per week? She said---"oh--I need to be home for the kids"...he said---"how old are your children"---"14 & 20"...and he said....they are not babies or in need of care giving?....so---most of what worked 6 years ago...isn't quite the same as she anticipated it would be.
Today, I am at Disney with my kids...having a great time...right now---everyone is napping...and I am on-line...and life is good.