Saturday, August 16, 2008

Victim #50: Lifetime Alimony Award Infers Women Unable To Support Themselves

My wife and I have been sleeping in difference rooms for about 8 years. I was very upset for her spending tens of thousands of dollars without even telling me until I found out from the credit report. This has happened 4 times in the past 10 years --- over $100k has gone while I have no idea what she has bought – she does not want to show me the credit card statement at all.

I stay in this marriage for the kids and I want to spend more time with them. Also, I have been suspicious that she is gay, but I am too busy to look around for the evidence. Really a very unhappy family life. Then I had an affair last year. My daughter found out recently and told my wife. Then my wife filed divorce (though I had been thinking of filing too after kids are older, the two young kids are 15 yrs now, oldest is 19 yrs).

My take-home is about $11k, hers is about $3.5k (she has a part-time job, could be working full-time). Then her attorney sent me a letter stating that I need to pay her permanent alimony of $6.5k monthly. Even my wife said that she would not get that amount but the attorney put the number there, I guess it is for negotiation purpose. We have one house and a second vacation house on mortgage.

I talked with one of the top family law attorney in south Florida here, who said that I may need to pay $4.5k lifelong alimony, which will leave me less than $1000 after the mortgage, child support and alimony. And another one said $1.5k - 2.5k alimony.

I have been thinking how unfair it is, if the law in Florida is to award a lifelong alimony to one spouse just by making the payer spouse poor or as a kind of punishment by even making the payer spouse not living a happy life after divorce, since FL is a no-fault state, while the purpose of the law is to have both spouse maintain the current life standards.

Nowadays, the world is talking about human rights and equality. The lifelong alimony is certainly swaying from this and putting women into a weaker position, because it assumes that women can NOT support themselves after divorce, that women will NOT gain the right of making a living by themselves, and that women are denied of the right of education!