Sunday, October 12, 2008

Victim #62: Lifetime Sentence in Virginia

In 2002 my divorce was final and following my attorneys advice sat quietly as the judge gave my soon to be ex lifetime alimony. The sum of which leveled me. Her lawyer and the judge both agreed that I could get another job to survive after they took almost half my months earnings.

A month later we were back in court and that amount was reduced to 350.00 a month. But the fact remained that she would get this amount either until she remarried or deid. Lifetime alimony! Again I sat there quietly as she was given all my retirement savings, the equity in the house, (the land was never put in our name). I had no idea then that I could appeal this or even limit it's existence.

Here I am 5 years later and every time I look at my pay stub I see those words. Spousal support. Since the day our divorce was finalized she has lived rent free with her aunt. Has been fired from a few jobs and payed her truck payment with her credit cards. (We split those and I paid my half off, she bankrupted hers this year.) Now she has a full time job and no desire to better herself unless you count nails and hair. No further education. She still has no rent or mortage, no utilities and now no debts to pay.

I work full time and make good money and pay all my debts. It burns my tail some times when I see that 1 out of 4 of my checks go to her and will for life. I have thought about taking her back to court but fear that she will get more instead of less, that would just about kill me. I live in Virginia and believe this is not a state a man would want to divorce in. I was being sentenced before the divorce was over and now have a lifetime sentence to someone I care to have nothing to do with.

What can I do? Do I have any options?