Friday, September 12, 2008

Victim#56: The Reality of Divorce

My husband is wonderful, my marriage is not my nightmare. My nightmare has come at the hands of my own government in Family and Probate Court.

After years of being divorced during which time I was a hard working contributing member of society, I met and married my husband - to find love and a partner for the balance of my life was a dream come true at my age.

My nightmare began when my husband lost his job. You see, he was married at 20 and divorced at 41; his former wife, although she is highly educated and works in the allied nursing profession, has been awarded alimony because their marriage was considered a long term marriage.

This became my nightmare when the court determined that my income, that of the second spouse, should go to paying alimony to the first spouse because my new husband was out of work and didn't have the income to meet his alimony obligation on his own. You have read correctly, the second wife is expected to contribute to the support of the fist wife.

I want to emphasize: This is not child support, the children are grown and on their own. The first wife received 80% of all assets at the time of divorce, she is healthy and quite capable of supporting herself, she earns a salary in excess of her expenses. But because of draconian laws and practices in our Family Court system her former husband is expected to pay, pay, pay alimony for a very long time and now I am expected to do so also. One former spouse has a life of financial ease the other former spouse has a life of financial burden with no opportunity for retirement, career change of a peaceful life.

This is the reality of divorce / marriage and the intrusion of archaic laws in modern day life.