Sunday, June 8, 2008

Victim #8 - Tale Of A Survivor

It is comforting to know I am not alone. My quick history is like most here. Married 18 years. No kids between us, I helped raise and finance her kids from a previous marriage to adulthood. Things started going downhill at year 10 but I felt it an obligation to stick around for the sake of the kids (they weren't even mine!!!). Little was I to know that this surpassed the milestone of permanent alimony.

Divorce was nasty, 2 years in the courtroom and went to trial. Having getting stuck paying her attorneys fee's was also a downfall. They just delayed all disclosure requests through court appearances knowing this would bankrupt me.

End result, she took half my pension, half my 401K, and she bought me out of half the house which she got to stay in. Above that, 40% of my gross pay went to permanent alimony. Ended up buying a house that is a fraction the size due to the fact that it was all I could afford. When you go to the bank and they find out that 40% of your gross pay goes to alimony, that already puts you at the extreme of what they look at in terms of debt to see what kind of loan they would give you.

I am a victim but also a survivor because this process almost killed me physically and mentally.