Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Victim #159: Former Wife Cyberstalking Ex's Significant Other

I am currently dealing with my fiance's ex wife who has just gone overboard. She is cyberstalking me, stalking me at my work, and socially scarring my name.

Just to answer some questions before I go on. They divorced because he caught her cheating on him five different times in thier own bed! There are no children involved. However because she is so money hungry and he was just mentally tired he allowed her to receive alimony (also its the state of Indiana's law). She makes weekly claims that she is due more money.

She has taken to contacting his company and sending emails posing as a (he does real estate) buyer to send him emails demanding money. She has all the information on contacting him but yet continues to try to tarnish his name. I know for a fact he is up to date on payments due to her.

Did I mention that she uses her big sister to email him and try to mentally shame him? My group I started is to help people voice their frustration about their ex's in a safe way. Also to discuss the injustice that is placed upon them by just loving whom they love.

I realized that I can not discuss this to my friends because they just don't understand. It gets frustrating and yes I could opt out and just break up with him. However I am very much in love with him and will not back down.

I needed a support group and I have found one and made another. I have dealt with her cyberbulling me on myspace and via emails. Everything I do to stop it is rejected by the courts because of my relationship with him. I am tired of the lying, selfish woman.

The worse part is seeing her post pictures of her and her new boyfriend in Rome and various European places and hearing that she is demanding more money. What can I do to stop her!


Victim #158: Dislikes Having to Work Extra 13 Hour Weekend Shift For Rest of His LIfe

And just how many ex spouses can we be ordered to support?

I would still like to see a list of how much money everyone pays to support an ex spouse.  What is an, "ex spouse," really worth?  Might there be some injustice in the differing dollar amounts we pay?

Was it illegal for the female judge to order me to liquidate my 401(k) retirement account to pay for my ex's attorney bills?  When her attorney found I didn't have enough money to cover his bill, he was kind enough to let me make additional payments over two years, interest free!  What a guy!

Maybe the female judge figured that since I was a Registered Nurse, I might enjoy helping strangers going through a period of illness in their lives, so I wouldn't mind working an extra 13 hour weekend shift every week for the rest of my life, to support an abusive, and at times, mentally ill ex, that set a fire in the house, and frequently threatened to kill me, for stupid things like making eye contact with someone, or walking into a neighbors home.

The judge, most likely thought I enjoyed it when my ex accused me of having affairs with her friends, her daughter's friends, my sister, my Mother, and, what brought me to the breaking point, our two Long coat Chihuahua's.

God help me Bill.  I pay $1395.00 a month.  I know Doctors and Attorneys that pay less, or nothing at all!  How much to Judges pay in alimony cases to their exs?

Have we come out with new bumper stickers yet?  A bumper sticker that can be read from more than two car lengths away?  We need bigger, more legible, more aggressive bumper stickers.  How about one that shows, Permanent Alimony Equals Prison, Paid Or NOT !!!   Or, in place of the "Paid Or NOT", have a picture of a person behind Prison Bars.  And make it large enough to be read by the average persons eye sight at five car lengths away.  How much would we have to pay in dues to get our message on billboards!  We have to put an end to Alimony!


Monday, March 29, 2010

Victim #157: How Double-Dipping For Alimony Affects Your Retirement Account

Excerpt from an email discussion on retirement accounts

..... One of the problems with finding a case that counters the 2005 "Acker v Acker" Supreme Court [in Florida] precedent is that it seems to take about three years for a case to move from county court to the appeals court, and another three years to just get to the Florida Supreme Court, much less be published.   Basically, any case that would do me any good, has probably not even made it to an appeals court, yet. 
..... I have a problem with Mr. Schultz's analysis of the "Acker v Acker" precedent and his discription of "Double-Dipping" in conjunction with how retirement plans should be counted.   He discusses treating pre-divorce accumulations in retirement plan as being subject to being divided as a marital asset, then treating Post-divorce accumulations as a source of income to be used to calculate alimony.   What he doesn't take into account is when in the initial divorce division of assets, BOTH the pre- as well as post-divorce accumulations are considered.  

In Mr. Acker's case, his half of the assets included ALL of his retirement plan.   His Ex received other assets to offset his getting this retirement plan.   I am in a similar boat in that I gave up exactly half of my pre-divorce accumulations in my retirement.  I also gave the Ex over 100K in exchange for any future accumulations.  

Now a decade later she has spent much of the retirement that was turned over to her, but mine is still intact.   Under "Acker" the ONLY thing that counts in a Modification of Alimony hearing is "Need vs Ability to Pay".   Since she has spent a lot of her retirement assets, and I haven't, guess who the court thinks is in "Need" and who has the "Ability to Pay" ? 
..... Here is a senerio that more clearly shows how unjust the "Acker" precedent is.
..... Mr. & Mr. Smith get divorced simultaneously with his retirement.  Under the divorce agreement each party gets half interest in his retirement pension plan.  As with many pension plans, there is an option to either take all the benefit as an annuity ..(lifetime monthly payments).. or as a lump-sum, or proportioned between the two.  

Mr. Smith chooses to take his half as $2,000/mo. annuity.   the Ex chooses a $1,000/mo. annuity and $150,000 as a lump-sum.   Several years later after the Ex has spent all of her lump-sum, she ask the court for alimony since she is in "Need" by having only $1,000/mo. and Mr. Smith has the "Ability to Pay" from his $2,000/mo. income.  

Under the "Acker" decision, the equitable distribution of assets during the initial divorce does not count, only the present difference of income.   Therefore, she would be awarded alimony  which could only be paid from his remaining half of his pension.


Sunday, March 28, 2010

Victim #156: Ex Takes a Ten Year Paid Vacation

I am presently involved in a Modification of Alimony hearing.   I filed for the modification based on my mandatory retirement in March.   Because my employer threw the company pension to the PBGC,
..(the government agency that take over failed retirement plans).. I have yet to receive a pension check and I don't expect to for several months.   In the meantime, the judge has ordered an extended delay in the proceedings until we can find out how much my pension benefit will be and also to get the results from a Vocational Evaluation he ordered me to get.
..... My Ex filed for divorce in May 1996, after 28 years of marriage.   In the mediated settlement she got not only half of all our assets, including our home,and half of all retirement benefits I had accrued up till that time.   Also, she got over $100K in exchange for my future retirement accumulations.
..... So when I came up on my mandatory retirement date, ..(I was an airline pilot, and federal regulations prohibit me from working at the job that has been my only source of income for 37 years on or after my 60th birthday).. I filed for the termination of alimony, because my Ex already had gotten half my assets and half of ALL of my retirement benefits.   I thought that paying alimony out of my remain half, to enhance her half would be ridiculous.  Well, not according to Florida family law!
..... It seems that the judge wants me to go out and start a new career to provide an income stream to provide my Ex with continuing alimony, even though I am prohibited by federal regulation from using my previous, aviation related, job experience and training.  Obviously, he also wants to use my pension check, when they ever start, to provide a source of alimony, even though my Ex already got half a decade ago.
..... Now that I have my Ex's Financial Affidavit, I understand why she is opposing this termination.   It seems that she started her pension benefits soon after the divorce and now those monthly payments are only half what they should have been had she waited to start them when I retired.   Also, she has spent a considerable portion of the "cash" assets that were turned over to her or at the time of the initial divorce, ten years ago.   There is no evidence of her saving anything.   Nor, did she try to improve her financial position by using her teaching degree or her nurses training or any other job. 

This all occured at the same time she was receiving the largest amount of alimony my employer, with 85,000 employees, had ever paid out in payroll deduction.  (And, I was far from being the highest paid employee).   Bottom line....She has been on a decade long paid vacation, spending money like it grew on trees!
..... Add to this the fact that the judge has ordered me to pay a significant proportion of my Ex's legal fees....($5,800 thus far).... as well as the costs of the Vocation Evaluation in addition to my own legal fees that will be difficult to keep under $30,000 before its all over with. 

In his order justifying the payment of the Former wife's legal fees, the judge used a comparison of our checking and general savings accounts.  He justified his order because me and my new wife's JOINT accounts contained more than my Ex's, even though my present wife, ..(since 2001).. doesn't have any rights in this type of hearing.   It seems that she, too, can be penalized, but can't even protest the action.
..... In addition, since loosing half of all I had a decade ago, I have lived a fairly conservative lifestyle to maximize my post-divorce savings.  As an example, I'm still driving the same vehicle I drove to the courthouse in 1996.   I didn't realize that by denying myself all these years, I was just providing the court with a source of money, so that the judge can replace what my Ex has already spent.

It seems that all that counts now is "Need vs Ability to Pay".   The fact that she caused her "Need" by spending a lot of her assets since the divorce, doesn't count in this state.   Only my "Ability to Pay" !
.....If anyone out there knows of anything that would help me defend myself in court, I will appreciate any input.


Victim #155: Wants to End Forced Labor!

I would like to get more involved in ending Forced Labor.  I''ve been paying, paying, paying, for over five years.  
I gave up a Palm Beach Garden home and $1,400.00 a month to get away from a 15 year marriage to a Bipolar spouse, that treatened my life, and started the house on fire.She was taken away by the Police, and volunteered to spend two weeks in a mental institution.  
The female judge gave me two days to move out of the house, declared her totally disabled, even though she regularly walked two miles to the grocery store, at her choice, or rode her bike.  I feel like getting on the Montel show, to tell my, our, stories.
Permanent Alimony is Forced Labor in America, which to me amounts to Slavery, which even China just Banned.  There must be an end to this injustice.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Victim #154: In Tennessee Fighting For Survival

Here is my story, In Oct. 2008 I filed for a modification for alimony and child support. Since then it has been one delay after another, one contempt charge after another.

Still no trial date for modification hearing, but in November 16, 2009 I had to appear to show cause for the contempt and I was able to get out of most of the six contempt charges with a $300 attorney fee from my ex's attorney for her time towards contempt charges.

Also the new judge(a male judge) ordered new financial statements since it has been so long since filing the original modification and ordered mediation before a trial could be brought forth.

This all took place in November 16, 2009 and it is now March 22, 2010 and I am not any closer to a modification hearing than I was since I first filed in OCT,2008.

My ex's attorney wrote my attorney a letter and stated my ex wants money, and she will settle for $20,000., $10,000 before March 15, 2010 and another $10,000 in September, 2010 and sign over my half of the house. My attorney thought this was a generous offer if I only had $20,000.

I am now 100% disabled and unable to work since June 2008. I am out here in Tennessee fighting for my survival and she is now trying to get my disability money.

In my way of thinking, she is still in the house I paid for and my son got to stay with her. She got all of the contents of the house and half of my 401K and now she is going after my blood.

I will not give up and I will not cave in, GOD give me the strength to carry on. Best wishes to all and may GOD be with you.


Friday, March 26, 2010

Victim #153: Need to End Alimony Welfare in St. Louis

My Husband and I have been married for almost 8 years and in that time we have received full custody of his 2 children, that are now grown...one already out of college, the other still in. But both are in their 20's.

I have shared legal custody of my 2 sons but full physical. And now we have a 2 year old together.

We are truly blessed and have been very lucky but his ex refuses to work and says it is beneath her and we have already taken her back to court twice and won, once for the children's custody issues and alimony, the second just for alimony.

As, I said we won and her maintenance has been lowered twice. As, I also stated, we are very lucky and my husband is a very successful man. But we are done with providing any longer for a woman who in the end did not even finish raising her children and has a degree and refuses to work.

So he tried to talk it out and provide some way at ending this without the courts, because as we all know the lawyers are the only ones who truly win.

Anyway, she would not respond so we had her served. She has now hired an atty. and answered the filing with a counter suit, in which she states, she now needs MORE alimony, and also states that her ex married me...a much younger woman that could provide to HER support...I could go on and on...

there is a settlement hearing on July 3 and we are in St. Louis, MO is there any way, without racking up a huge bill with our atty. to find out what the current trends are in rulings on this matter in our area?


Saturday, March 20, 2010

Victim #152: Love and Marriage in the New Millennium

They started dating in high school and married on September 3, 2000. A child soon followed and another a couple of years later. As with most young couples with children, times were tough although they managed to purchase a house.

She was in charge of family finances, but didn't do well at it. In 2005 they were hit with foreclosure on their home. After 5 years of marriage they separated in June 2005 at her request, supposedly because she felt bad about the foreclosure. She was then 24 and Jason was 27.

She complained that she had never been on her own she needed some time, and wanted to force herself to learn to mange money. She assured Jason it was a temporary situation and he reluctantly agreed, all the while asking that they go to marriage counseling. She refused.

But there was more to the story. She had gone back to school in September 2003 and Jason was the parent taking care of the children from the time he picked them up from daycare until they went to bed. Then she decided nightlife was more exciting than her family.

It started as just once a week, but soon grew into every night in the local bars while, after Jason got the kids to bed, he'd lie awake waiting for her to come home drunk around 3 AM. He'd try to talk to her about the problem, to no avail, and then he'd have to get up at 5:30 AM to go to work. That went on from December 2004 until their separation in June 2005. All the while their debts were mounting.

Even through this Jason never gave up on his children or family. He found a place to live, took care of the house foreclosure, and began to gain control over his life again. Her response was to treat him worse and worse with every new day.

Jason was naturally confused about what was going on but was trying hard to make things work for the sake of his family. After their separation he was paying for half the children's daycare and lent her money for the damage deposit on her apartment, and other things she needed. She wanted nothing to do with him unless she needed money. Needless to say, the relationship was getting worse, not better, and they both knew it.

Enter the DV and divorce industry.

On August 21, 2005, after being separated for 2 months, Jason picked up their two boys (then 2 and 5) with the intent of going to Horsetooth Reservoir with his brother for a day of Sunday boating. However, the weather was windy and his brother decided not to get the boat out. Instead, they all went to Jason's mother's house to swim in her pool.

Jason took the kids back to their mother at 7:30 PM but when she found out they had gone swimming instead of boating she became irrationally angry. She insisted Jason should have called her and threatened to never let him see the kids again. He apologized for not calling but hadn't thought that it was a big deal that they went to his mother's home and not to the lake. Certainly the kids were safer playing in the pool with dad than in a small boat on a lake on a blustery day.

After she had vented her spleen, Jason tried to give her a hug as he was leaving, as he customarily did. She got angry again and kicked him out. He went home, upset and sad as he had countless times before, but not thinking anything more of it.

Jason had the kids again the next day and took them back to their mother around 9 PM without further incident.

Then he had them again on Wednesday, August 24, 2005. This time when he took them back to their mother at 7:30 PM the Loveland police were waiting for him. They informed him that his wife had filed a domestic violence charge against me claiming he had grabbed her and tried to sexually assault her on Sunday when he'd brought the children home.*1 Note that the police were not responding to an incident in progress but he was arrested without a warrant, underwent a full body-cavity search, and spent 26 hours in the Larimer County Detention Center before being released on a personal-recognizance bond with the required mandatory restraining order that stated he could not see his kids.

In the two months prior to his arrest, Jason had been hospitalized for depression, tried to convince wife to go to marriage counseling, which she refused to do despite her insistence she didn't want a divorce, let her move out because she said she needed some time to sort things out and learn to manage finances on her own. And now, because of the domestic violence charge, Jason lost his job. Neither one had yet filed for divorce.

Jason later learned, through conversations and emails that friends and his brother's fiancé shared with him, that his wife had been planning this for several months. When they separated she moved into an apartment for which she had been on a wait list for 6 months. She also took every single piece of furniture and possession that they had worked for throughout the marriage. She left him with the credit card bills and the delinquent mortgage.

Finding the right lawyer

On September 1, 2005, Jason met with a highly-recommended domestic violence lawyer in Loveland. This attorney advised Jason from the beginning not to take his case to trial. He claimed that Loveland was such a conservative town that the majority of domestic violence cases that went before a jury resulted in a conviction simply because of the nature of the crime.

Her word against his was nearly all it took in most cases. Because the prosecutor claimed there were pictures of bruises, Jason was told he had little to no chance of winning even before he saw the "evidence." He also told Jason that if he was convicted it would be on his record permanently. But this incompetent shyster didn't mention that a plea bargain is a conviction and would remain on Jason's record permanently as well. Nor was Jason told that a guilty plea would prevent him from being the custodial parent of his sons.

It took this attorney nearly 7 months after requesting copies of the pictures prosecutors claimed showed bruises on his wife to finally obtain them. In the interim Jason still hadn't been arraigned, and thus his right to a speedy trial was circumvented. Once they did receive the pictures, no bruises were visible except one very light mark on her forearm. Of course there are any number of explanations as to why someone might have a mark on their arm and the pictures were apparently not taken until 3 days after she claimed she was assaulted.

Any reasonably competent criminal defense attorney should have been able to discredit such "evidence."
Despite the weakness of the evidence against him, the attorney told Jason again that his best option was to plead guilty and plea bargain for a deferred sentence. Jason was told that if he had no further incidents the DV charge would be dropped and, for a fee, his record could be sealed. This attorney's misrepresentation is typical of unscrupulous attorneys who take clients retainers and then sell them down the river with a plea bargain.

Lacking the zealous representation of a competent attorney, and without prior knowledge or experience with the legal system, Jason then took the plea bargain.

She files for divorce

Any veteran of the DV and divorce industry knows the next step in the game is for the wife to file for divorce now that she has custody of the kids and a restraining order. Following the script, Jason was served divorce papers on September 28, 2005, demanding full custody of their two boys.

About 3 weeks after filing the DV charge, she had her father give Jason a letter telling him the only way he could see the kids was if he paid her for some of her expenses and met several other demands. She dictated how and when his time with the kids was to be spent. Withholding parenting time for money is against Colorado state law and even the female judge called the letter a ransom note. But no penalties attached to her unlawful demands.

The divorce was naturally a bitter one and legal fees for a divorce attorney alone were $4,000. The DV lawyer cost an additional $1,000 to do nothing but destroy Jason's life. A lot of money for someone who had next to nothing and a mountain of debt to start with.

With a DV charges, and later conviction, the family court was against Jason from the outset. No matter how much Jason wanted to be a father for his boys, he became simply a paycheck.

Both during the temporary orders hearing on November 15, 2005, and the final orders hearing on February 22, 2006, she was caught lying, but nothing was done. Ultimately, because she had controlled the parenting time for so long, and with a restraining and no contact order in place so he could not contact her or see his boys unless she allowed it, she was given full custody. The boys now can only see their father four times a month, every other weekend and on alternating weeks every other Monday.

However, because of hard evidence that his wife was incapable of managing her finances, which had resulted in the boys jumping from one daycare to another, child support payments are made directly to daycare providers instead of to her. So neither parent wins, the kids lose, and the DV and divorce industry grows richer.

The ongoing vendetta

Since Jason's domestic violence charge, three additional formal complaints have been made that demonstrate how Jason's ex-wife tries to use the legal system to secure control over situations she wants changed, and to ensure Jason and his family have minimal contact with his boys.

Two weeks after the temporary orders hearing, on November 30, 2005, Jason's wife called the Larimer County sheriff, case #05-771, on Jason's father, with whom Jason is living, to investigate an unsafe house. She claimed the drinking water was brown, the house was unclean, there were no beds for the children to sleep on and that they were being made to sleep on the floor, etc. Jason was not home the day the sheriff came, and Jason's dad wisely refused to let the sheriff inspect the house without a warrant.

Following that complaint, on December 27, 2005, social services caseworker Mykel Flory came to Jason's father's house to investigate a report of the house being unsafe. This time Jason was home and let her in. In Jason's words the social worker was stunned after inspecting the house and finding nothing. She asked why Jason thought someone would do that and he explained the divorce situation. Ms. Flory's comment was that she would advise the caller about the difference between a legitimate concern and a false report.

Their divorce was final March 1, 2006, but that was hardly the end of her vindictiveness.

On March 9, 2006, Jason's now ex-wife again filed a complaint with the Loveland Police Department, incident # 06-13008, against Daniel Peterson (Jason's stepfather) for making threats against her when she came to pick up the boys from his mother and stepfather's house (Jason's parents and Jason's former in-laws provide drop off and pick up locations for the boys).

Jason's divorce lawyer also received a call from his wife's attorney saying that Daniel threatened her and she "feared for her life."

Daniel's son was at home and heard the conversation. No threat was ever made. What did happen was Daniel asked her if she was getting married because one of the little boys had been very upset that night and told Jason he got in trouble for having a black crayon in his pocket that ruined her wedding dress that she had washed the night before. Daniel offered advice and expressed concern about what she said around the boys to avoid upsetting them. The conversation was friendly and at its end, she and Daniel agreed if there was anything else like this that ever came up to call each other or exchange emails. The following night Daniel was taken completely off guard by the phone call from the police.

Then in late July of 2006 she filed another false report with the Loveland Police Department that Jason didn't have car seats in his jeep when he had the boys. Jason did notice police cars being around the drop off point for the next few weeks, wasting resources better used elsewhere for public safety.

After completing domestic violence treatment, obtaining unsupervised probation status, and numerous emails back and forth between Jason and his ex-wife regarding issues about their boys, Jason told his ex-wife he planned on attending the boys' yearly doctor exams on March 16, 2007. Jason had only ever missed one of his boys doctor appointments prior to separating.

When his ex-wife realized the restraining order/no contact order was no longer in effect, she immediately filed another temporary restraining order based solely on the previous (almost 2 year old) DV charge. A hearing on her request to impose a permanent restraining order on Jason was held Wednesday, March 28, 2007. Her request was denied and the temporary order was lifted.

However, there is absolutely no reason she can't go "judge shopping" and find one more sympathetic to her fears that the boy's father might actually want to be informed about their medical condition. Or she can make up any other excuse with the help of a publicly-funded "victim advocate" or shelter worker since there are no penalties for making false allegations of abuse and subornation of perjury is not a crime in Colorado.

Such games can, and do go on for years while the children's lives are destroyed and the DV and divorce industry grow rich from the public purse.

The saddest thing about this story is that it is so typical.


Friday, March 19, 2010

Victim #151: Family Law System Destroys the American Family

It's the same old same old. I lost everything and the "X" vacations in Europe.  But what is unique is that I was sentenced to pay lifetime alimony.  The "X" is to receive the court ordered  alimony from my estate after I die.  This is part of the divorce settlement. 

The "X" is litigious to a fault and has  already threatened my daughter in law with a law suit should I leave my grand daughter money for her education.  So we know she will sue any beneficiary  of my estate such as a future wife.  This means I really can't get married and expose a second wife to this kind of litigation. 

I have been in a  relationship since 1992 and we did try to get married by our pastor but that avenue is blocked with statues that make it unlawful to marry without a license.  They enforce this statute by jailing the pastor on a misdemeanor charge.  The point I am trying to make is that the family law system has destroyed the American family.

I think what bothers me most of all is that my son did not marry after seeing how his mother worked me over in the courts.  This makes my only grandson and name sake illegitimate.   


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Victim #150: Is Alimony a Form of Punishment??

I am married to a wonderful man who had the unfortunate luck to be married to a money grubbing bloodsucker. Based on your message I see you have the same experience.

I, like you, don't understand how, in this day and age, a judge can give a woman alimony for the rest of her life. This is not 1950. Women are fully capable of taking care of themselves financially. Is alimony supposed to be some sort of punishment?

What gets me is she is had an affair, stole the kids, took them out of state and my husband got stuck paying...HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!

I told him he had a crappy lawyer. We've talked to lawyers to have it terminated. They said there has to be a change in circumstances. I guess her inheriting $100,000 and working isn't a change in circumstances.

Meanwhile, we paid the child support (for 2 children), bought the cars, now putting the kids through college.  Needless to say, she will not give one dime of her alimony to her own kids.  And what kills me is every-time she sees us she acts like we are all buddies and I just want to rip her face off. My husband won't go anywhere near her.

What can we do to change these laws? Something has to be done. Please tell me what I can do.


Sunday, March 14, 2010

Victim #149: Another Slave's Lament

My own story is, in my view, an egregious one. I married in my 40's to a woman also in her 40's. She had a house and I had a job. We were married only 10 years though the marriage was, for all intents and purposes, over after only 5 years. During the last 5 years of the marriage she made my life miserable at best and sometimes horrible.

-She filed for divorce after years of threats, waiting for the 10-year anniversary to do so (that is the benchmark here for a "long-term" marriage)

-I owed her EXACTLY nothing at the time of the divorce. In fact, it is easy to argue that SHE owed ME since I left her in a palpably better financial position than when we began living together. It can also NOT be argued that I owed her for any "intangible" things she might have done for me during the marriage. I did everything for myself from laundry to shopping.

-When we separated I had the same job as when we first met. She was unemployed, as she was when we first started living together.

-Her cost of living is, in NO way, any greater today as a result of our having lived together.

Despite these facts I am ordered to pay her lifetime alimony, for what? And this alimony has kept me from paying down my enormous credit card debt, debt that grew as large as it is because she never worked while we were together.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Victime #148: The Evils of First Divorce are Visited on Second Wife

I've seen very unfair things happening due to the laws and systems. I'm not sure if people that are getting a divorce are the ones looking for "revenge" or if it's just lawyers that need these nasty endings to fill up their pockets. I hate legislation that let lazy, irresponsible spouses to get away with such abuse. I want to prevent it from happening to me.

Here's my story if you're interested....
I was married for a very short time to a guy that had been sentenced with 24k alimony a year for 10 years (this is just to sum up...). It not only affected our relationship financially and emotionally, but now that WE are close to a divorce (we've been separated for 7 months), I'm afraid that he would "take revenge" out on me, just because he's had it soooo bad with the first wife.

I just want a divorce, no money, no complications (is this possible), just a divorce. We don't have any assets together, nothing whatsoever, and thank God for that!! He owns property and has a trust from his mom, and I couldn't care less!! The only thing in common is an almost 2 year old, the even though we have agreed to get share custody, I do not trust him. I'm scared he may want to take him away from me!!!

My ex and I were never compatible, it didn't work and it would never work. It's been very sad for me, but oh well...I would like to maintain a friendly relationship for our son, but my ex is really tricky. He lives with a woman, he had an affair with her after we had been married for 6 months, he said he wanted to move on with his life with her (that he was in love...) and asked me to move out. He was a complete asshole at the time, and a month after he wanted to "make up" with me. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Now, I want a divorce and he manipulates me with little and big stuff, which is frustrating. If I'm not friendly to him, he won't pick up the phone when I want to call my son. For him, in order to be friendly I have to accept his flirting and "invitations" to have sex (don't forget, he's living with his ex affair buddy, she moved in almost the same day I left).

I've always been sorry for how he's first marriage ended. I have never depended financially on him, NEVER. I do not care, he even made me sign a prenup and I had no problem with that, I've always have a clean conscience. I just want a divorce (no money, nothing, not even child support...I can't even move too far from where he lives!!!) and I'm afraid that he will try to fault it on me, say that I abandoned the house and that all he has is a "roommate" to alleviate his expenses!!!

He just started with a business and he's not making a lot of money. I make less that 30K a year right now, can you imagine if he finds his way out to say that I should pay him!!!

Sorry, that I vented all this, I'm desperate!!! He's done so many wrong things to me that I'm afraid this is not the end.



Thursday, March 11, 2010

Victim #147: Fifty-Four Year Old Baby

I don't think child support should have anything to do with alimony.Child support is separate ..that is for taking care of the children, which a man should.

Alimony in our case is for the ex to live the life of riley. My husbands children have families of their own and the ex is still receiving alimony. After all it is her money. How is that? She got the house and half of everything else and still gets part of what he makes.

Being the new wife this REALLY bothers me. We can't make plans because we have to make sure she gets HER money...because it is HER money. She didn't  have to rehabilitate herself to support herself either. She worked during the marriage and I might add makes good money....but part of my husbands income is still HER money.

I think three years is plenty of time to pay alimony. After my husband retired on disability, we went to court to try to get it modified...well the attorney told my husband to settle with what she was willing to take no matter what because the ex has put on a little weight and the judge would feel sorry  for her and be for her anyway. I'm not sure who's attorney he was. I thought he was ours.

He has been paying alimony for nearly 10 years. As far as I can see we have a 54 year old baby.


Victim #146: Georgia Man Rather Fight Than Pay

BRUNSWICK, Ga. - The high sheriff in the old westerns used to ask his prey "to come along quietly and there won't be any trouble.''

Between Christmas and New Year's Day, Joe Iannicelli went to jail quietly, but is trying to raise a fuss on the outside.

Iannicelli was jailed on the order of Superior Court Judge E.M. Wilkes III of Hazlehurst for not paying about $68,000 in alimony to Joyce Head, his ex-wife.

He may be wearing the flip-flops and jumpsuit like everyone else, but Iannicelli is not a Joe Six Pack.

A Massachusetts Institute of Technology graduate, Iannicelli holds more than 100 patents. He is also the scientist at Aquafine Corp., a water purification company he owns. He also owns New Hope Plantation Mobile Home Park, Culligan of Georgia and Aero-Instant. He was a member of the Glynn County Board of Education from 1999 through 2002, serving part of his term as chairman.



Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Victim #145: Virginia: Alimony for Life State

Like many states, Virginia is an alimony for life state and I have fallen victim, now worse than ever. I have written every representative from local to the capitol and have not had any positive response. I do not know where to turn next. Any Suggestions?

When I was first divorced, I paid $600 per month indefinitely. When I retired from the Navy, she received $300 of my retirement and alimony was reduced to $300. Now, 10 years later, I am doing well and she is continuing to run a business at a lost(x 14yrs). She took me back to court and was awarded $1200 per month and still receives part of my retirement. Can you believe that!!! She gets $1,530 per month. That's over $18,000 annually, Is what that means to me is: The legal system encourages her to not excel by allowing her to have my money.

I am now re-married, have a daughter and should be able to give 100% toward my family and my home. Unfortunately I can only give 75%. My wife is not taking it well at all and at times it causes friction.

It is definitely time to move up to the current times. They are now allowing gay marriages in Washington, DC. I wonder: If a gay marriage ends in divorce, which person will get alimony for life. Personally, I don't think they will.