Monday, September 22, 2008

Victim #58: Typical Parent Alienation Syndrome in Progress

My husband was married for 18 years. His wife ruined him with debt while he was traveling the country as a computer consultant.

His job was out-sourced to India and he has become a regular employee of the computer services company he did the consulting work for, at around half the pay. The court did not seem to see this as his best recourse nor understand that what looked like an elevated salary as a consultant should have been seen in light of his responsibility for paying taxes and his families health care, to provide another residence for himself in another state and a huge travel expense in order to see his children at all.

The court did not address this situation, which he substantiated with company executives testifying in his defense. He was found to be voluntarily under employed and the court upheld the 2,000 dollars a month for life.

The appeals court did not even address his ex's increased salary. In retrospect, he should never have involved himself in a divorce until after the job changed. However, getting wind of the job crisis, his ex filed. He shouldered all of the family debt and asked for joint custody of his then minor children.

He moved from an apartment that did not have identified sex offenders in the complex to something suitable to share custody of his children. The court berated him for the extra expense.

Our lawyer felt it a lost cause to move to appeal the State Court of Appeal decision; better to establish a new strategy for a change of circumstance. We have spent borrowed money on his defense. We have borrowed money to avoid a contempt charge. He does very specialized work that requires an "on-call" availability that makes an additional job problematic at the very least.

He is not able to provide what he would like to do for his now young adult children. The children and first wife feel obligated to some privileged status. His ex has made his son and daughter believe he is a deadbeat and does not love them. They have deserted him.

His son was encouraged to default on a twenty thousand dollar student loan his father co-signed, and his daughter has tattooed a RIP eulogy for her father on her arm after he was unable to give her a car. I am so worried about his health in the face of the added betrayal of his children..

We are looking for advise on building a future case and affiliation with any group advocating change.


Monday, September 15, 2008

Did You Know? Alimony Videos

Alimony: A lottery

Alimony: A Wedding Scene

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Victim #57: Court Involves Second Wife's Income To Pay Her Husband's Alimony

I am still completely dumb struck by what happen to us in court this week. I am going to restrain myself from calling my husband's former spouse names...although I have come up with some very creative ones lately.... But if there was ever a case of injustice, this is one.

When my husband and his former spouse divorced, he was far more honorable and generous with making sure she was going to be financially okay. It is a complicated story of the wife and children being involved in a cult like religion and when he would no longer be involved in the religion, they shunned him. The divorce came shortly there after and my husband gets stuck with a life sentence of crazy alimony.

Last summer my husband lost his job, after a bit of push and shove, a modification, she had the audacity to come after my income on the grounds of total household income. After almost $9,000 in legal fees, the only good news was my husband didn't have to go to jail; but his new order is to give her $510.00 a week, yes a week until she reaches the age of 65.

She earns $31,500.00 a year on her on and he has to provide another $26,520.00. I feel as if someone flicked the crazy switch in the court system. We learned we have no rights.

I am a strong headed tenacious Irish woman and I just can't roll over and give up; this injustice offends me as a citizen of the United States.


Friday, September 12, 2008

Victim#56: The Reality of Divorce

My husband is wonderful, my marriage is not my nightmare. My nightmare has come at the hands of my own government in Family and Probate Court.

After years of being divorced during which time I was a hard working contributing member of society, I met and married my husband - to find love and a partner for the balance of my life was a dream come true at my age.

My nightmare began when my husband lost his job. You see, he was married at 20 and divorced at 41; his former wife, although she is highly educated and works in the allied nursing profession, has been awarded alimony because their marriage was considered a long term marriage.

This became my nightmare when the court determined that my income, that of the second spouse, should go to paying alimony to the first spouse because my new husband was out of work and didn't have the income to meet his alimony obligation on his own. You have read correctly, the second wife is expected to contribute to the support of the fist wife.

I want to emphasize: This is not child support, the children are grown and on their own. The first wife received 80% of all assets at the time of divorce, she is healthy and quite capable of supporting herself, she earns a salary in excess of her expenses. But because of draconian laws and practices in our Family Court system her former husband is expected to pay, pay, pay alimony for a very long time and now I am expected to do so also. One former spouse has a life of financial ease the other former spouse has a life of financial burden with no opportunity for retirement, career change of a peaceful life.

This is the reality of divorce / marriage and the intrusion of archaic laws in modern day life.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Victim #55: Neither Party Won In The Divorce

My lawyer---------------$15,000
Her lawyer------------ --$17,000
Forensic accountant--- --$31,000
Mediator-------------- ---$3,500

Total------------------ -$66,500

Am I a doctor, a lawyer, CEO????? I am a mechanic who saved up and bought his own shop, worked 12 hour, 6 days a week, bought two warehouses and lost everything.

Is she better off, nope-alone, bitterness in her face, smoking, unhappy and broke.

My daughter? Better off. Nope, I can't pay her a dime for college. My two boys? Nope, flunking out of their fifth primary school.

And florida gets involved for what?


Friday, September 5, 2008

Victim #54: Second Wife Finds No Justice From Judges

My story is a very long one so I will give you the gist of it. Yes I am a second wife, my husbands X had cheated on him and left him for other men during the last six years they were married, she had been seeing the same guy for the last four years of the marriage and was in and out of the house. Every time she wanted back in the marital home she attempted suicide for simpathy. Well she did end up finally leaving for the boyfriend that is when my husband and I got together.

My husband filed for divorce after she moved in with the boyfriend. A few months later we received a phone call that once again she had attempted suicide she shot herself in the face with the boyfriends gun that she had taken form his home that she was living in at the time with him. The divorce proceedings were put on hold while she recovered (YES she survived even though the bullet went through her brain).

Once recovered and was back living with the boyfriend is when the nightmare began. She then filed for divorce even though my husband had filed a year earlier. The Judge awarded her lifetime alimony due to she was now disabled and on SSDI, forced my husband to sell their marital home. She got all the proceeds, plus he was to maintain a $100,000.00 life insurance policy with her as the beneficiary.

She let about a year go by and she wanted more, so she filed a modifacation. This took about another year to get through because she was trying to involve all of my personel info just to aggrivate me. She was not happy when she found out we had married.

Well the Judge modified the alimony from $150.00 per week to $400.00 per week even though she could not proove any change of circumstance except that her SSDI had increased twice since the divorce. Now we are in and out of court for contempt because we can not afford this. We have lost so much just trying to keep up.

In August the Judge sent my husband to Jail for not paying her attorney fees which she was also awarded because we did not have the money to pay (Thank God for friends and family they helped me get him out). Meanwhile his attorney withdrew so we were trying to go pro-se. That did not work so we retained a new attorney on a credit card and have filed for a modifacation to lower the amount but realistically don't think the Judge will lower it.

I have also been getting involved in the Jail4Judges where they have to be accountable for their actions and realize once they are appointed, it's a whatever mood I'm in, is what the ruling will be and there are no worries aboout loosing my position.

This also comes from my side of the story. Let's put it this way, same Judge and yet my X owes over $60,000.00 in back child support and still continues not to pay. I have agreed to let him lower the payments twice and still nothing. He is in contempt and has been since 2001 he walks out of court every time with a slap on the wrist.

So I agree in ending lifetime alimony, but I also think the Judges are to blame the laws need to be changed. I have contacted some local papers along with people that are running for Govenors Council and Govenor but one voice can't due it.