Thursday, December 31, 2009

Victim #143: Abusive Adulterous Ex-wife Hassles Her Former Husband


Yes, this is true! what can we do about it? I'm the wife of a man whose first wife had sex with anyone who would have her and when he finally had evidence and confronted her, she decided to openly "date" other men.

When he told her to leave the house, she had the police waiting for him the next day when he returned to work - of course, she claimed that he physically abused her. The housekeeper told the police this wasn't true and they left. However, this witch has played victim ever since.

Since she is a social worker (but barely works part-time), she knows how to push every button with the courts and continues to wreak havoc in our lives. She brainwashed their child and has rallied everyone she can to believe that my husband is an abuser.

She is after money and control of the kid and having people feel sorry for her and she runs up outrageous legal fees and then cries to the court and they make my husband pay! Oh, and by the way, we know that a friend of hers who died of AIDS left her a large sum of money which she has apparently hidden.

She also has the house and we are renting! She gets child support and has been getting alimony for 7 years! Any attorney we go to wants $10,000 up front to even review the case. Meanwhile, we keep getting stuck for her attorney bills because we do have some cash and didn't hide it.

She even has an attorney for the 12 year old kid and we have to pay for that! The court appointed therapist tells my husband that she guilty of parental alienation and yet he won't tell the court about it because it will "interfere with therapy"! It seems that the court system is wired to keep making the guy pay no matter what!

What can we do?! I hope you will publish your articles everywhere you can. You really tell it like it is-succinctly and to the point.

With shared frustration.

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Victim #142: South America Bound


I am about to relocate to Latin America. My ex continues to sue and pursue, even when I have no assets left, no retirement left, and no income at the moment (it's been a year now).

I am a professional, and the original order pounded me for CS and alimony.  I lost my job and the money has been building like crazy.  It's been twenty months since she told me she wanted a divorce,  AT MY FATHER'S FUNERAL!  She has legally pounded me blind.

I have a motion to modify pending, based on a substantial change of circumstances.  Her lawyer continues to attack me seeking more and more legal fees etc.  I owe the bitch thousands and thousands, accoriding to the court.  I've been living like a vagabond with friends and family.

I received a consulting offer in Latin America.  I've accepted it.  I'm leaving soon, because I expect no justice whatsoever from the court system.  I have nothing left, and she got everything . . . not just my past, but she continues to attach and attack my future to such an extent, I'll be left living in a gutter. 

I'm thinking, when I leave for good, I might as well not pay CS or alimony.  F??k her.  What will the US try to do to me?

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Victim #141: Second Wife Suffers Along With Husband


My husband was divorced over 5 years ago and was ordered to pay
$1,200. per month in alimony to his ex wife From the state of New
Jersey. (we now reside in florida)

After paying for over a year, we decided to take it back to court to
try to get a reduction or modification.

During the waiting process, he continued to pay her, and we went into
forclosure and we were forced to sell our home.

To make a long story short, the judge completely denied the motion.
(even though his ex was now working 2 jobs) originally she claimed
she was physically and mentally unable to work.

After the judges denial my husband quit his job, and got another job.
Needless to say she has found us again, and his work was ordered to
garnish his wages again.

We are desperate. we live very modestly and like most others, live
paycheck to paycheck.

Are there any states that do not enforce the uresa law? We are
seriously thinking of moving out of the state or out of the country
if necessary...

Any help is appreciated.

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Wife No. 2 Paying for Wife No. 1? Join the Club



Massachusetts' 2nd Wives Club Lobbies to Change Rules on Alimony Payments
By ALICE GOMSTYN
ABC NEWS Business Unit
Nov. 6, 2009

Stress over alimony payments to her husband's ex-wife nearly drove Deborah Scanlan to divorce. Helping her husband make alimony payments to his ex forced Jeanie Hitner to take on a second job. Both Massachusetts women now say they wish they'd never gotten married.

Welcome to the 2nd Wives Club.

The club, which claims 70 members and counting, consists mostly of married women who say that Massachusetts judges' rulings forced them to contribute to alimony payments for their partners' ex-wives. Together with its parent group, Mass Alimony Reform, the club is lobbying the state legislature to stop that practice and institute several reforms to alimony law.
[READ MORE....]

Note:
The MA chapter is a branch chapter of the Alliance for Freedom From Alimony, Inc. [www.alimonyreform.org] who got them started several years ago and provided the legal help and support they needed to get their fight started in the courts. After getting established, they pursued their fight with the legislature and have garnered increasing public awareness of the inequities of lifetime alimony in addition to how it affects successor families of the spouse paying alimony.

To find out if there is a branch chapter near you or to find out how to change the laws in your state, go to the website and check it out or send an email to Dick Lindsey, Chairman at: alimonyreform@hotmail.com 

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Victim #140: Some People are Never Satisfied


.... All of us has our own horror story, and I guess it's all relative. Personally, I turned over $425K in assets, plus half of my retirement to the Ex at the time of the divorce, and have paid her initially $3,500/mo. for the first 5-1/2 years, reduced to $3,200/mo. as per by our mediated settlement for the next five+ years. Her alimony was exactly twice what I later found out was the maximum of any of my working contemporaries.

Now that I just retired, she it petitioning the court to have the alimony "RAISED", at the same time as the failure of my former employers pension fund, and subsequent takeover by the federal government. I'll be lucky to get 25 cents on the dollar of what I expected my retirement pension to be. Yeah, she describes me as "Cheap".

.... Anyway...I think there's a Yiddish term for her actions, but it escapes my memory right now. Mine won't even work part-time even though she has a teaching degree and 2-1/2 years worth of nurses training.
.
.... I don't know how my upcoming Modification of Alimony hearing wll come out, but it doesn't look good.

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Victim #139: An ATM for His Attorney


I was divorced in 1/04 and filed for a mod of both support and permanent alimony in 3/05. Sadly, my friend and atty died and in 9/05 interviewed an atty who quoted a $3,000 rate for this modification.

I paid $3,000 and 14 months later the case was lost. I have now been billed for $7,900. The $3000 was never reflected in my bill although I submitted, in writing this "oversight" on 2 or 3 occasions. I also questioned my bill as I was billed each and every month from $60 to $800 (BTW the $800 bill was before Christmas when there was NO activity on the case moving forward). To add insult to injury, I lost the mod and currently in the appeal process. (more money)

I feel that I have scammed and wonder what options and am trying to get a game plan to proceed. Besides the BBB, I was going to the Florida Bar. I called them a year ago, and they want the name of the atty and I think they are in the same club and don't trust them. Any ideas on how to approach this atty?

I don't believe I intend to pay based on based on poor performance and feel that I have just been the attys' ATM.

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Are You a Slave??


Can you be a slave and not know it?

If you really think that you are a free person, watch this video and find out.

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Victim #138: A Veteran's Lament



After 14 years of marriage, and two children who were at that time, less than one year and four, I was divorced. Between alimony and child support, I got stung with an overweight price tag of $30,000 per year. Because I am not in the legal profession, I trusted the advice that I was paying for from my attorney.

At the time, I owned a new business that was less than a year old, located in Tennessee where I later moved and still reside. My adoring attorney recommended that I make the alimony non-modifiable in case my business turned into the next version of Microsoft. The problem was that it was a corporation owned by myself, and one partner. Each of us had two board members. His were his Dad and Brother, while mine were my ex-Father and Brother in-law.

Needless to say, soon after the divorce, my members resigned and I was voted off the board and lost my company. I did receive severance, which I reinvested into another company that, lo and behold, failed one year later leaving me broke and almost indigent.

In a moment, I will discuss jail. Lets follow the progression. I will also mention credit, later. In addition to the $30,000 per year, she got the house, car and furniture. I got to keep my guitar and an antique bottle collection, which I later sold to eat.

She allowed the house payment to fall behind and received a notice of foreclosure. That's when one of my ex-best friends, with whom she had been having a little fling with (and not her first, but that's another story for another time), came to the rescue and purchased the house.

Since she had nowhere else to live, it only made since for her to move in with him so he could turn around and sell the house that he just purchased for a unbelievable bargain, realizing a handsome profit that I never saw one penney of. After all, on his annual salary of $300,000 per year, he had a big enough place. Hey, bring the kids too!

Did it affect my Florida alimony? No, remember, it's non-modifiable. About a year later the happy couple tied the knot. My alimony stayed the same. I should also make note of how my ex-wife has never worked again since the divorce even though she is ten years younger than me and has some highly marketable skills. She claimed she couldn't work anymore because of the kids. No problem, I'll take them. Yeah, right!

Back to my second business failing. I remarried about two years after the divorce. It's just my wife and I. Fortunately I found gainful employment the day prior to our getting evicted, after my second business failed. But, of course the child support and alimony fell behind, even though I sent a few dollars now and then as I could. My wife and I budgeted $20 per week for food.

Long story short, I got summoned to court in Florida, where I was promptly handcuffed by order of the judge who has lunch frequently with my ex-wife's attorney. This takes place in that kind of town. She could afford a very expensive attorney, I couldn't. Even if I could afford a great one, nobody in this Florida town wants to go up against her attorney.

Guess who got locked up. Yep, you got it. I'm told that later that night, my ex and her spouse went to the country club where they are members, for a steak dinner and a glass of fine wine. Ever try jail food?

My sister bailed me out the following day and I left Florida without saying goodbye to the kids, tail between my legs. I work now and I work hard. Most days, I average 15 to 17 hours. I make $70,000 and continue to give her $30,000 of it to add to her household income leaving them the unfortunate task of learning to live on $333,000 a year.

Oh yeah, until the divorce was final, I would send her most of my income to pay the bills that she didn't pay. Guess who has no credit. Now it gets bleak.

Knowing that there was no a way out for me, and the fact that my daughter was so young when the divorce took place, my ex asked me if her husband could adopt her. At first I was furious and said no but then thought about my daughter. Just starting school it would be easier for her if she shared a common last name. It would be easier for Doctors notes, passports and etc. She called the guy Dad anyway and listened to bad things being said about her real Dad around her house.

Then my ex offered me something. If I agreed to this, she would discontinue receiving alimony and I would only pay child support for one child. She told me that I could see my daughter anytime I wanted. So, it was done. No criticism please.

I doubt you could understand the pain that I still face every day of my life. But it was a chance to finally provide the life for my wife that she deserves. This all had to be done in sequence because an adoption cannot be done because of money. In actually, this adoption wasn't about money, but it was an offer that I couldn't refuse, I accepted the offer and she drafted it.

After the adoption, she failed to follow through and I can't even get in touch with her now. The last thing I heard, her attorney asked the question of her, "Why would you want to do that"?

My wife and I continue to struggle in our 600 sq. ft. home in a major city where life is by no means cheap. The sad thing is, it shouldn't be this way. What she receives from me is play money for their many trips. Of course I can't modify my payment to her, even upon death! Figure that one out.

In addition to being broke, its humiliating to go through life being embarrassed and knowing you are getting laughed at by the people taking advantage of you. You know, the happy family that lives in the big house and drive new cars. I'm ashamed to invite friends to my house and I pay an enormous amount each month for my car because of my credit rating.

I continue to "bust my tail" to fund their luxuries. I'm surprised I can even spell the word luxry (See there I have a hard time with it)

As a loyal American and 14-year military veteran, I have the right to say that alimony laws are ridiculously unjust. So here I am, no way out, and not enough money for a powerful attorney even if there were a way out. Guess it's back to the VA Clinic for some more paxel and Valium. I've been on them for quite some time now. My next step in join my fellow exiles that have had to leave the USA in order to have any kind of a respectable life.

Please do not suggest that I contact the Congressman for that district of Florida. My ex’s husband is a contributor to his campaign and I believe that his firm does that Congressman’s taxes. I suppose my next question should be addressed to congress.

Does anyone in the country that I defended for 14 years care about this injustice. As I see it now, the answer is no. Do you? Probably not if you haven’t filled the shoes of countless divorced men who have either left the country, changed their identity or continue to suffer without warrant.

Perhaps someday I will find someone in a government position who cares more about justice and humanity than their political career and attaining votes. This judgment can be overturned, but it will take Congress to do so. Till then I remain a prisoner of a court system that has no morals.

###

Want to Win the Florida Lottery?


All you have to do is quit your job, if you have one, then file for divorce!! Florida Alimony laws grant PERMANENT LIFETIME ALIMONY.

You can hook your former spouse into paying for your health insurance, keep you as beneficiary on his life insurance, and still get at least 50% of the acquired family assets. This doesn't even take into account any child support that will be addition to the alimony. Upon his retirement you can even get his social security. You can have your payments taken directly out of his paychecks so you never have to worry about the check coming late or not at all. Even if he gets remarried your payments come first so any more children will just have to get over it.

If you want the BONUS PLAY, move in with someone!! You never have to remarry, but get "friends with benefits".

Why send our girls to college? All they need to do is find some guy who makes lots of money and they are set for LIFE. No need to continue the fight for equal rights…these laws make equal rights IRRELEVANT.

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Victim #137: Distress in Kansas



I have been ordered to pay $1000 per month in alimony. It has been over a year since the original ruling and I recently went back to court on a material change of circumstance.

Three months after the trial, the ex willfully signed a lien for her attorney to get all of the monthly payments I make for alimony. Custody went from shared to her having custody and my child support went up about $800 per month. She claimed she needed 6 years of alimony to get a bachelor's degree in dental hygiene. She was awarded 5 years of alimony.

At the recent trial, we proved she has not attended one single college course and in fact has made no attempt to get her GED. She is not getting alimony for it's intended purpose, her attorney gets all of it. She still owes him around $16,000. So for the next 16 months he will still get it. He is threatening to file a contempt order because my last payment for support was due October 25th. My paycheck was short so they couldn't garnish the full amount of alimony.

All her child support got paid and over $500 for alimony was paid as well for October. She owes me money in the property settlement which was also part of this recent trial. When everything owed on both sides is balanced out, she still owes me around $36 if I leave what has been paid to date alone. Yet because her attorney has a guaranteed paycheck, he files motions for "his" alimony when I'm only 6 days late on only part of the alimony.

My attorney wanted to fight to reduce or eliminate the alimony based on the change of circumstance. I had a detective for 2 weeks that confirmed she had moved close to her boyfriend, that her boyfriend stayed the night at her duplex every night, that they had Bar B Q's together and that the house he stayed in was owned by his retired parents that live out of state. She also put him down on the kids school enrollment forms as their emergency contact. In court, she admitted he had bought groceries for her and when my attorney called her boyfriend, he admitted the same and said marriage is in the future.

My attorney didn't feel we had enough for cohabitation so she went for change of circumstance based on the other changes since trial. The judge ruled that he didn't see enough of a change to change the alimony. He even made a comment that my current wife (who was not present at trial) should quit going to college to support the fact that I have to pay alimony.

My wife was accepted into the dental hygiene program that my ex claimed she needed alimony for so she could go through this program, ironically. My wife has a year and half left of school and will start out making $27 per hour and this judge has the audacity to say that!

After trial, I found a Virginia case in the appellate court. A women had a relationship with another women and the ex husband was trying to prove cohabitation. The trial judge ruled that because it was same sex, it didn't apply basically. The appeals court overruled the trial courts decision and due to the facts that the girlfriend of his ex was listed as an emergency contact for her and her kids, they lived on separate streets but spent at least 5 nights per week together, did NOT own any property together or shared bank accounts, but obviously had a relationship like marriage as defined by the cohabitation clause. They were the same sex and he got his alimony dropped! Same story with my ex only she is doing all this with a man. I don't know what weight another states ruling has on Kansas though.

I too think that alimony is involuntary servitude. I'm not sure why this hasn't been addressed in the supreme court. They are the ones who handle constitutional rights, from what I understand. I see procreating as being responsible for supporting children that have no means of supporting themselves. But even that has a limit on it when they are 18 years old or out of high school. She is a grown able bodied women who has worked as a dental assistant for 13 years and makes $15 per hour. All my alimony payments are doing is giving her attorney reason to keep increasing her bill so he gets paid longer and this also increases my attorney bill!

I am hoping I can get some advise on what I can do from here. I'm frustrated and can't afford this.

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Thursday, October 1, 2009

Victim #136: America's Debtor Prisons for Men


Friday 25 September 2009
by Wendy McElroy

I received the following email from a heartbroken and understandably enraged wife whose husband languishes in America's version of a debtor's prison. No one knows how many people -- almost all of them men -- are being held indefinitely on contempt of civil court charges for which they do not have the due process protections offered to those accused of a criminal offense -- no right to a trial, an attorney, an appeal...no due process.

Most of these imprisonments are for non-compliance with court ordered child support or alimony. It does not matter if the man is unable to comply due to poverty -- e.g. from losing his job; he can be imprisoned anyway until he "pays up." For an analysis of the plight of these prisoners who languish in jail without ever being arrested, tried or accorded Constitutional rights, please see my article "The Return of Debtor's Prison."

The email reads, My husband is in debtor’s prison, and he is not alone. The court has him in custody until he pays a $15,000 cash bond. We have no money or property. Unless we get help, he could be there for the remainder of his life.

While imprisonment for debt was eliminated in this country in the 19th century, it has re-emerged under a new name: contempt of court. A defendant is deemed “in contempt” if they do not pay a court ordered debt, regardless of their ability to pay. The punishment: they are stripped of their liberty and sit in jail, at the taxpayer’s expense, until and unless money is found to purchase their release.
[READ MORE...]

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Victim #135: Role Reversal: Ex-Wives Angry Over Paying Alimony


He got their second house, an investment property she had bought in Costa Rica, and a $96,000 annual alimony payment.

She got angry.

"It's so obscene," said Holly Chiancola, 52, a Gloucester, Mass. real estate agent who is fighting the terms of a divorce settlement ordered by a judge in 2006.

You used to hear about divorced men complaining that their ex-wives were unfairly cutting into their income. Now, as more women become primary breadwinners, the complaints increasingly come from them. The number of American men receiving alimony has climbed, from 7,000 in 1998 to 13,000 last year, according to U.S. Census Bureau data

Chiancola's ex, who declined to comment for this story, is among them.
[READ MORE...]

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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Victim #134: Makes a Statement With "The Final Solution"


James S. Irwin called it a "death sentence."

The 73-year-old international businessman and philanthropist would have to pay his wife alimony and attorney fees totaling more than $2 million, as part of their ongoing divorce proceedings.

That decision, Irwin wrote in a letter mailed to the Sun, would be his undoing.

And he wanted the judge who signed the order to know it.

Irwin, chairman of Integrated Control Systems Inc. and IMPAC University in Punta Gorda, shot and killed himself Monday at his Litchfield, Conn., farm.

Earlier that day, a two-page letter with Irwin's name and Connecticut address was sent to 20th Judicial Circuit Judge John Dommerich, cursing his handling of Irwin's divorce. A copy was forwarded to the Sun.

In the letter, Irwin blames Dommerich and his wife, Linda Scott-Irwin, for his "financial destruction."
[READ MORE...]

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Friday, September 11, 2009

Victim #133: Down and Out in Califiornia


Via an incompetent attorney and a long distance divorce I walked out of a 23 year marriage with no material assets and obligated to pay $193K on a 83K/year salary. I am now making 64K/year and still owe a balance of 156K.

My wages are currently garnished leaving me less then 1200/month to live on in southern California. The garnishment doesn't even address the portion I left unpaid while I was unemployed. Colorado court (where the divorce occurred) already ruled they don't have jurisdiction to modify.

This was never a stay-at-home-mom. We both have bachelor degrees. We both worked in management positions. The difference was she was working on developing her non-profit women's advocacy group the last few years of our marriage. I underwrote her trail expenses and time conferences and lobbying on capitol hill. She award herself no salary, but refused all discovery requests directed at her business. Unfortunately, the only thing that seemed to matter was how much we each reported to the government as salary.

The net result is my home is a 5X5 storage unit, and my bedroom is the bed of my pickup. I have no faith in the court system. As a child I watched my child support allocation drop from $50/month to $10/month as my father accumulated more children. I attempted to do right thing and was raped in the process. There was never any drugs or violence (except on her part), just deep narcissistic anger.

My options seem few if any. Legislative advocacy just doesn't address my situation. My only comfort is in God. What strength I muster is inspired by the story of David struggle against Saul. I pray for God's protection, and have faith that the righteous will prevail someday.

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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Victims #132: If You Think It's Bad Here, Look At India



MARRIED MEN in India have been reduced to second class citizens who are systematically discriminated against by the Indian Police, Indian government and the Indian Judicial system. Instead of being protected by the law, laws are used to harass Indian husbands.

Indian men contribute more than 80 per cent of the country’s taxes and have little or nothing spent on their welfare. The state systematically denies any rights in a married life and creates laws to purposely harass them in all ways possible. Thousands of crores are spent every year through various different channels on women’s programmes, little or nothing is being spent on welfare for men. The Government of India has a ministry for welfare of animals but has still not heeded to the requests for creation of a mens welfare ministry .

Laws in India are so biased against men that women who have never married in India or do not have children who are Indian citizens also come all the way to India to misuse Indian laws. Most marital laws are unconstitutional and go against articles 14, 15, 20 and 21 of the Indian Constitution, which guarantees fundamental rights like right to equality before the law, special provision for weaker sections of the society, multiple trials for the same crimes and right to liberty. On one side, the government promotes that they are committed to eradicating dowry completely from India on the other hand they allow the exchange of dowry to go unabated. But once the exchange has happened, millions of husbands and their families are arrested without the slightest iota of evidence or investigation under the draconian section 498 A of the Anti Dowry act. [READ MORE.....]

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Friday, August 21, 2009

Victim #131: Suffers From Ex-Spouses New Retirement Plan



I don't know what state you're from, but I'm in Florida. With $10,000 a month permanent alimony to someone who has lived a wonderful lifestyle without the efforts of earning a cent. I couldn't be more on your side. I think she, like many others, planned their work and worked their plan. Their reward is a lifetime without financial worry without work. Every person married who is producing an income is at risk.

Once your marriage has lasted 15 - 17 years, the non-income producing spouse enters the "Golden Opportunity" phase. They can, at any time and with no reason, divorce their income producing spouse and the laws and "Divorce Industry Attorneys" will make sure they are provided for. Not just long enough to get an education, a career, employment, or become self-sufficient, but for the rest of their lives.

If you are an income-producing spouse, someone needs to shake you up. This is real. There need be no reason for the divorce. You don't have to cheat, abuse, or use drugs. You can be faithful, loving, good to your kids, pets, work around the house, help with the chores, go to church, attend and enjoy family events, support your spouse in their hobbies, and be the best spouse you know how to be. It doesn't matter. If you're making money and your spouse isn't, they will be entitled to a lifetime of you supporting them if they want.

The power lies in their hands and the current laws. They can divorce you with no reason, force you to pay them lifetime permanent alimony, begin life with another partner (without getting married), and you're left wondering what just happened. You have just become a slave of the state.

This is becoming a new retirement plan. If a person marries an income-producer at age 25, they can stay married until their early to mid 40's, then receive a lifetime retirement, permanent alimony settlement. They may have never supported you, your education, your tireless efforts at your business, or the late nights and weekends you spent making your business successful. In fact, they may have encouraged you to spend more time in your business. The more successful you are, the more they can collect in their "retirement plan." Think this isn't happening routinely? It is!

Maybe the marriage started off with the right intentions. You both did love each other. But as time went on, your lives seemed to take different paths. You fell into a routine. It wasn't what you truly wanted in your marriage, but it was okay. Then your spouse started talking with friends and realized the "Golden Opportunity." One phone call to a "Divorce Industry Attorney" and your life is changed forever. You now become financially responsible for your new ex-spouse for the rest of their life.

What did you do wrong? You worked. You had a job. You were employed. You produced an income. You provided for your family. You even loved your family. You did everything you thought was right.

According to our laws, you did everything wrong! You shouldn't have shown initiative or commitment. You shouldn't have put in the overtime or made the extra effort. By doing this, you demonstrated that you "could" do it, therefore you "must" do it to support your spouse who "wouldn't" or "didn't want to" do it. The laws are on their side. The "Divorce Industry Attorneys" are on their side. And you're left, chained to your job, with few alternatives.

What are your choices?
1. Pay until you die.
2. Pay until your ex-spouse dies.
3. Try to get a modification of alimony. That takes thousands and thousands of dollars, with very little chance of significant modification.
4. Move to another country and try to hide.
5. Commit Suicide.
6. Try to change the laws.

Personally, the only acceptable choice for me is #6. Change the laws.

If you're married and produce an income, this should scare the life out of you. You're not just a spouse, you're a target. Your spouse might not seem like the kind of person to do this to you. That's what I thought. That's what thousands and thousands of hard working spouses thought. All it takes is the right conversation with the wrong person, and your spouse could end up living a pretty darn nice lifestyle, enjoying new people, places, hobbies, and lifestyle, and you'll be paying for everything.

Think it won't happen to you? You're wrong! You truly don't know!! The one disagreement you may have with your spouse may be the one to make them pick up a phone and call a "Divorce Industry Attorney." These attorneys will explain to them just how lucky they are. You will have to pay for your own attorney, your spouses attorney, all of the property appraisals, any court costs, plus permanent, lifetime alimony, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You're screwed!

I hope this shakes you up. It should. With over 50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages ending in divorce, the chances are pretty good you'll be facing the reality of our out-dated, biased, unfair alimony laws at some time. Maybe you'll start hiding money in a separate account now. They'll find it. The better response is to get involved in changing these laws that encourage people to take from the hard-working spouses and give to the lazy ones. It doesn't matter of you're a man or a woman. If you're producing the majority income in your marriage, you're the target.

How do you get involved. First, go to http://www.alimonyreform.org, get educated and then join and become active in their group. Then contact your newspapers, radio, tv, magazines, or any other media that can get the message out that you and other working spouses are in danger. Social Media like Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or YouTube are also great avenues for getting the word out.

Contact your state Senators and Representatives and educate them to the injustice of the current laws. They are receiving tons of support from the "Divorce Industry Attorneys" to keep things as they are. It's an uphill battle, but states like Texas have changed their laws. It's possible, and it's gaining momentum, but it takes people like you to join the battle to save what you've earned.

If you want to go through the rest of your life sleeping with one eye open, hoping that this will never happen to you, then do nothing. But your stomach will be churning. Now you know the reality of alimony. You know that you can do everything right, but end up paying for the rest of your life.

Get pro-active. You're pro-active in your job. Now get pro-active to help save what you've been working so hard for. Otherwise, you will have put in those long hours, sleepless nights, missed weekends and vacations only to give it all away. Changing the laws will be your insurance policy to help you keep what you've worked so hard for. And isn't that fair?

Yes, we need to help our ex-spouse get on their feet. We need to help them get an education, get employment and become a productive member of our society. But we don't need to support them in the lifestyle they have become accustomed to for the rest of their life. It should only take 2-3 years for someone to become self-sufficient, if they want to. If there is no incentive, they will always need your money.

So what are you going to do? Toss this aside, hoping it will never happen to you? Let someone else change the laws? Sit quietly, hoping your spouse doesn't know of her "Golden Opportunity," yet? (It's only a matter of time before your spouse learns this retirement strategy.) Or get madder than hell, and want to join the movement to change these outdated, destructive laws?

I hope you can get as passionate about saving what you've earned as you did in earning it. Now, it's your turn to take action! http://www.alimonyreform.org Click here for an education!

Please pass this on to as many people as you possibly can. Put it on FaceBook, Twitter, mail it to all your contacts, get the word out. It's YOUR FUTURE!

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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Why We Need New Leadership to Right The Wrongs of Our Country


This is a YouTube video that you need to watch to find out what is our main problem in righting the wrongs that exist in our society today.




“This source of corruption, alas, is inherent in the democratic system itself, and it can only be controlled, if at all, by finding ways to encourage legislators to subordinate ambition to principle.” –James L. Buckley
All along we have wondered why the yoke of servitude and peonage could have been placed on innocent American under the color of law. These are laws that are facially unconstitutional and violate the most basic of citizens rights….The Right To Privacy in decisions relating to marriage.

Innocent citizens are criminalized by the imposition of laws that are lacking adequate guidelines and are so vague and unclear, judges are unable to rule with any degree of consistency. They are
criminalized by imposing laws under which no two judges are able to arrive at the same conclusion given the same facts of a case. They are criminalized by imposing laws by which the participants are subject to the whims and prejudices of the individual judges.

When the laws are unclear and uncertain, as are those of Florida Statute 61.08, which govern the alimony statutes, the only way the judge can rule on the case is by, in effect, clearly creating a new law (ruling) governing in each case and that follows no rigid guideline as required to do equity between the parties.


Creating laws by the judiciary is a violation of the Separation of Powers between the Judiciary (who administer the laws) and the Legislature (who make the laws) as mandated by the Constitution


Did this happen by accident or was it well planned out by a group of self-serving people who swore am oath of office to uphold the constitutional rights of those whom they purport to represent?


The alimony burdens that have been imposed upon unsuspecting spouses in direct violation of their constitutional right can be traced back to our legislatures and the legislators who pass these
self-serving laws that primarily benefit the state, the legal industry and all the parasites that feed off it to the tune of multi-billions of dollars each year..


Ask yourself: “for what other reason would laws support the lifetime strangle-hold on spouses by retaining jurisdiction over them in the final judgment of dissolution?”


In two separate Florida judicial jurisdictions, the circuit courts, the district court of appeals, and the Florida Supreme Court abrogated their duty to provide a citizen with a declaratory judgment on whether or not the Florida alimony statute 61.08 violated the state constitution.

The cowardly act of the courts refusal to rule on a constitutional issue was simply because the far reaching effect of such a ruling would not only destroy the legal industry’s multi-billion dollar

cash cow but would invalidate, ab initio (back to the beginning), the statute that was unconstitutional as of it’s date of enactment. Follow the filed cases by clicking here.


In reading the following article, it was felt that it accurately reflects where the blame should be placed for such inequitable laws. Even though the article references the U.S. Congress, we can equally apply it to a state congress.

Charley Reese, a writer with the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper has offered a rather fresh look at the national leaders who are responsible for most of the mess we find our nation in. Might mention that Charley is a bonafide "southerner".


THE 545 PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR AMERICA'S WOES!!

By Charley Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits? Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does. You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does. You and I don't write the tax code. Congress does.You and I don't set fiscal policy. Congress does. You and I don't control monetary policy. The Federal Reserve Bank does.


One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president and nine Supreme Court Justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered but private central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman or a president to do one cotton- picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it.

No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

A CONFIDENCE CONSPIRACY

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a SPEAKER, who stood up and criticized G.W. BUSH for creating deficits.

The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it. The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes.

Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow Democrats, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto.

REPLACE THE SCOUNDRELS

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million cannot replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts - of incompetence and irresponsibility.

I can't think of a single domestic problem, from an unfair tax code to defense overruns, that is not traceable directly to those 545 people.

When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair. If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red. If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.

There are no insoluble government problems. Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom theygive the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power.

Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exist disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation" or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible. They, and they alone, have the power. They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees. We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess.


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Victim #130: Broke in Georgia


EX wife is taking me to court today for contempt. I have my own direct sales business. I am the only employee. If I don't make the money from my own personal sales then there is no money. This business has no assets.

I have been doing this business for 23 years. The business is failing, I had one sale in month of August. My income was about $450.00. The judge had ordered me to pay a little over $5,000.00 per month. Back when he ordered that, I even struggle to pay it then.

Now that sales are down I don't have the ability to pay she is taking me to court for several counts of contempt. In addition to that I have a girlfriend now and she is mad about that, she feels that I am hiding sales, but im not, sales are slow. So, her atty. wants to bring my girl friend in as a defendant. I believe this is just a ploy to avoid the final divorce.

Now that my discovery is over they can't do anymore discovery on me. So, if they bring her in as defendant they get another six months for discovery. That means the temporary order would be in effect for six to twelve months longer.

I just so sick of all this. She tells my friends that she is going to have me locked up to teach me lesson. The truth of the matter is I am losing both of my cars all my credit cards. I am unable to pay. I am behind on her car,house, and alimony payments. I don't have the money to pay her. My atty. said that if he doesn't get any money he's going to have quit.

I wonder if I moved from Georgia to another state could she do anything about it, what would happen to me. Is there anyone with any suggestions. Thank you, your broke friend.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Victim #129: This Victim Fights Back



In 2004 when I started this venture, I too was of the opinion that representing myself in court was foolish. Having gone through a trial with an attorney (I wasn't to happy with the results), an appeal with an appellate attorney (Again, I was not thrilled with the results) and spending mega dollars on both (every dime I had), having taken time off from work to attend hearings of attorneys whom are suppose to be the best in this field (my research/opinion) I came to the conclusion that not only could I do this, but I could probably do it better that the attorneys I had, at least I could satisfy myself.

I first realized that this was not brain surgery and since I could not afford another dollar to attorneys and I could not be in a battle without giving an effort to fight back, I took up my own legal pursuit and started an education process. It has been a challenge, which I have been rewarded.

Having won four contempt issues and NOT paid an attorney; having appealed an Order Upon Remand which is pending a decision from the 2nd DCA, I realize that old Abe may have been right in his day, but not today and not in Family Court in Florida. I can only applaud those that can afford an attorney and I can only wonder that if an attorney is retained, how come the attorney is not earning that money and fighting with every breath to win, ie..doing research...

In addition, a strategy that I did learn and has worked for me is that I present case law to the trial judge in my opening as evidence (they must follow precedent cases). I give a packet of the cases to the judge, to the opposing counsel and to the court reporter (preserving an appeal). I highlight my points (they MUST follow cases on point) and then move forward.

For each issue I am arguing, there I find a case on point and argue to the best of my ability. Thus far, the opposing counsel has not been able to produce any cases (evidence) at the hearing to refute my arguments and did not have case law with him to fully support his position.

I am on my 3rd judge and all have hated how I do this...All have commented that they don't agree, but it was the law and they had to follow...in short, my point is that this process has worked for me... By no means is this legal advise, but my story as to how I am fighting...

[Note: The Pro Se Self-Help Guidebooks on Alimony, Contempt, and appeals are excellent how-to and reference books that will facilitate defending yourself in family law court.]

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National Organization of Women Supports Alimony Reform


For those of you who think that alimony reform is just a men's issue brought on by a bunch of whining, alimony paying spouses, please be aware that the National Organization of Women [NOW] "Statement of Purpose" endorsed the cause for alimony reform as far back as 1966. In it, they stated:

"We, men and women who hereby constitute ourselves as the National Organization for Women, believe that the time has come for a new movement toward true equality for all women in America, and toward a fully equal partnership of the sexes, as part of the world-wide revolution of human rights now taking place within and beyond our national borders.....

.....WE REJECT the current assumptions that a man must carry the sole burden of supporting himself, his wife, and family, and that a woman is automatically entitled to lifelong support by a man upon her marriage, or that marriage, home and family are primarily woman's world and responsibility -- hers, to dominate -- his to support. We believe that a true partnership between the sexes demands a different concept of marriage, an equitable sharing of the responsibilities of home and children and of the economic burdens of their support. We believe that proper recognition should be given to the economic and social value of homemaking and child-care. To these ends, we will seek to open a reexamination of laws and mores governing marriage and divorce, for we believe that the current state of `half-equity" between the sexes discriminates against both men and women, and is the cause of much unnecessary hostility between the sexes."

As you can see, even though NOW agrees with the position that lifetime alimony is unwarranted, the judges, lawyers and the rest of the legal industry are determined to degrade women by granting awards of alimony that make the statement that women are unable to care for themselves. These rulings are declaring that women are not the equal of men. The principles that NOW has fought for over 50 years are ignored by the courts, and by NOW itself.

You have to ask yourself why, with this statement of purpose displayed so boldly on the NOW site, they aren't fighting with more zeal to demand that lifetime alimony be abolished as they did in seeking equality in the first place. Could it be that as long as women are allowed to collect alimony welfare through some sort of imagined "entitlement" for being married that they are justified in violating their advocacy of equality.

Maybe they should change their statement of purpose from that of "seeking true equality for all women......exercising all the privileges and responsibilities thereof in truly equal partnership with men" to a more realistic one that includes the comment from George Orwell where he pointed out that: "all people are created equal, only some people are created more equal than others."

To compound things, when you look at the realities of the situation in the light of a profit motive for the legal industry, adversarial divorces are simply a way of transferring the bulk of the family assets to the legal industry in the form of exorbitant fees, costs and a myriad of other court mandated requirements such as mediation, counseling, expert testimony, etc. in order to obtain a divorce.

Is this justice or just a way to fund a multi-billion dollar industry that builds it's success on the destruction of spouses and families in the name of equity and under color of law?

Where will it all end?? Project the statistics and the answer will be self-evident. The end effect of this apparent hypocrisy is the contribution to the destruction of the institution of marriage and families in this country [Read about the Marriage Strike]. Added to that is the creation of a spousal class of alimony welfare recipients who are no longer useful and self-sufficient members of society.


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Monday, July 20, 2009

You Can Run, But You Can't Hide: New Police Radar


Not only are you a slave to the system, but now, one of your avenues of escape has just become more difficult to use.

Just when you thought it was safe and you could run and hide from the police who are looking for you to enforce your delinquent support payments, be aware that they now have a new tool in their arsenal to locate you.

New Police Radar

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Till Death Do Us Pay



The poster child for progressive marriage laws, Massachusetts is also a singularly nightmarish place to get a divorce—especially for the better-off spouse. Now a brewing reform movement is pushing to rewrite the state's outdated alimony rules, led by one very fed-up ex-husband....

.....Despite these dire straits—Hitner relies on his second wife, Jeanie, to pay most of the household expenses plus the part of the monthly alimony bill he can't cover—he isn't optimistic that Judge Kaplan will be moved. Four years ago, he'd sought a modification from this same judge. "I told her, 'I really need help here, because I'm running out of credit cards to borrow on to pay this alimony,'" says Hitner. "The judge's response was, like, 'Lemme know when you run out of credit cards and I'll put you in jail.'"

He ended up filing for bankruptcy in December 2006. A separate court battle with Joan (who declined to be interviewed for this article) over stock in his company has dragged on for 10 years. Hitner estimates that he's spent, at minimum, $200,000 in legal costs just to get where he is today. Which is to say, exactly where he was in 1999.

[Read more...]

Video interview

Note: Steve Hitner is part of the Massachusetts Chapter of the Alliance for Freedom From Alimony, Inc. www.alimonyreform.org

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Saturday, July 18, 2009

Victime # 128: Screwed in North Carolina


I have been divorced from the X since 2000, I was entered into bondage by paying $750 per month permanent alimony - she had also used the I am in poor health issues card. I currently now live in North Carolina since 2005 and have been re-married.

Since 2002 the X has been cohabiting with her boy-friend. During 2002 while I still lived in Florida - the X had her a new man ,new home, better health, new job, new car a whole new life while still getting $750 a month from me. In late 2002 I had decided to take her back to court to reduce or eliminate permanent alimony, so I retained another attorney and started the whole process over again, once the X got served and knew she was going back to court all of the sudden her health issues came back, she quit her job, let her car go back but yet she is still cohabiting with her so called as I see it her common law husband.

Before I moved to NC and still had not been in court for my final hearing there were new laws were put into law on cohabiting that now the Florida judges had to take into consideration before awarding alimony, I thought I would finally be free from this because she has been living with her man for years.

On April 2006 when I had finally had my day in court, her attorney brought before the judge that the X and her cohabitant had not been in a relationship for the past year and that her boy friend was out of the kindness of his heart letting her live there. Well needless to say the judge said there was no evidence of cohabitation and evidence of them sharing the same common mailing address, I got screwed again big time. I still have to pay $750 a month and her and her man are still cohabiting in Florida, now she has her father living with them in a three bedroom home where 1 room is an office – 1 room is her fathers and the last room is theirs but they have not been in a relationship – SURE sharing the same bed and nothing happening and judge says they are not cohabiting. Where is the justice for men?

Now is 2008 since I now live in North Carolina, I got some advise from a local attorney that if I would stop paying her the alimony she would have to retain and come to North Carolina and take me to court which would be costly, and there was nothing a Florida court could do here in North Carolina so I decided to stop paying it – well after 3 months and several nasty phone calls on my voice mail – she had her attorney serve me a summons to appear in court on May 21 on several issues of course not paying her, not paying her in a timely manner, deducting monies from her alimony which are all lies, since this.

I retained advise of another local attorney who told me that Florida could take this civil case and turn it into a criminal case and have it registered in North Carolina and then the sheriffs department could arrest me and throw me in jail for thirty days, so I have got my payments back up to where they should be, but I they will still be having an hearing on May 21 now she is wanting the Florida court to do an income deduction order through the court depository out of my check in North Carolina.

I do not have a Florida attorney, after $13k I flushed down the toilet from the last battle, I cannot afford one and or the expense to get to Florida for this hearing, but I fear if I do not show up her attorney and the judge and her will have a field day on my behalf and I will once again get screwed.

This is just a small portion of my hell and I know many others have the same or even worse. If anyone has anything to share with me on what I can do, I am very much open an appreciate any and all who shares. Thanks.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Victim #127: Ex-Spouse Knows How to Work the System to Her Advantage



I'm the wife of a man whose first wife had sex with anyone who would have her and when he finally had evidence and confronted her, she decided to openly "date" other men.

When he told her to leave the house, she had the police waiting for him the next day when he returned to work - of course, she claimed that he physically abused her. The housekeeper told the police this wasn't true and they left. However, this witch has played victim ever since. Since she is a social worker (but barely works part-time), she knows how to push every button with the courts and continues to wreak havoc in our lives. She brainwashed their child and has rallied everyone she can to believe that my husband is an abuser.

She is after money and control of the kid and having people feel sorry for her and she runs up outrageous legal fees and then cries to the court and they make my husband pay! Oh, and by the way, we know that a friend of hers who died of AIDS left her a large sum of money which she has apparently hidden. She also has the house and we are renting!

She gets child support and has been getting alimony for 7 years! Any attorney we go to wants $10,000 up front to even review the case. Meanwhile, we keep getting stuck for her attorney bills because we do have some cash and didn't hide it.

She even has an attorney for the 12 year old kid and we have to pay for that! The court appointed therapist tells my husband that she guilty of parental alienation and yet he won't tell the court about it because it will "interfere with therapy"! It seems that the court system is wired to keep making the guy pay no matter what!

What can we do?! I hope you will publish your articles everywhere you can. You really tell it like it is—succinctly and to the point.

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Victim # 126: A European's Perspective on American Family Law Courts




I now have a better picture how this court system works. I was very naive and took the US justice system the same way like it is in Europe.


In Europe the Judge`s bench is on the same level like litigants. Here the Judge`s bench is located higher and it tells you that he/she is above you. It is a very small detail but tells you a lot. In Europe attorneys are independent and not afraid to confront judges because the Judge has no power to issue a Motion to Contempt against them and have no power over them either. In Europe you can talk directly to the judge or both of you, your attorney and you, here you can`t because your attorney has only that right.

Finally. Alimony and divorce in this country is a pure business while in Europe (excluding England) it is not. No depositions are allowed in Europe. In fact these depos and mediations over here are just another BS in order to make more money to the attorneys. Some 75% of all worlds lawyers live in the States (US population is only 5% of the world population).

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Victim #125: Alimony is a Disencentive for Promoting Self-Sufficiency



Losing the job is, again, only a VERY temporary answer that just highlights the inequities of the laws. Where the courts will force me to regain employment at a comparative rate of pay with the threat of PERMANENT incarceration, they do not force the ex to work at all. They in fact provide incentive for her not to work.

My ex was a licensed real estate agent, an experienced admin assistant with a lot of accounting experience and also a 15yr history of being a caregiver for 3 local well-to-do families that have consistently paid her 12k a year. She could easily clear 50k+ a year had she any desire to be a productive individual with a trace of pride.

The idea here is to end/amend these socially retarded laws that are ruining lives across the country. Laws that are merely in place to funnel cash from hard working people and transfer it to the legal profession all in the name of "fairness".

How can we get some publicity for our cause? Somewhere there is an answer. If enough people want it, it will happen. I am not a highly intelligent individual but I would be happy to follow anyone who can lead this movement and do whatever I can to help.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Victim #124: Fourteen Years in Jail on Family Law Contempt Charges



If you weren't aware, due process of law does not apply in family law cases.

In due process for criminal cases you get the following:
1. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.
2. You are presumed innocent until proven guilty.
3. You are entitled to a trial by jury.
4. You are given a sentence with a definite time period of incarceration.

In family law, you get the following if you are held in contempt [such as when you are unable to pay your alimony and the court thinks you can.]
1. If you cannot afford an attorney, you are out of luck. Not only that, but the court will asses you with the fees and costs incurred by your ex-spouse.
2. You have the burden of proving that you were unable to pay your ex-spouse.
3. You are not entitled to a trial by jury.
4. The courts will assign you a purge amount that you have to pay in order to be kept out of jail. If you are unable to pay, and can't prove it to the courts satisfaction, you will be kept in jail until you cough up the purge amount as the court considers that you have the "keys to your cell" and can get out whenever you decide to pay the extortion amount.

Apparently, the courts consider the inability to pay alimony as a more serious crime than murder, rape, robbery, etc. for which your constitutional rights are able to be suspended.

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

PHILADELPHIA -- H. Beatty Chadwick, imprisoned in Delaware County for the last 14 years, was in the jail library yesterday giving legal advice to female inmates when a prison official walked up and gave him the news.

He was a free man.

Minutes earlier a Delaware County Common Pleas judge issued an order granting Mr. Chadwick's petition for freedom, thus ending his incarceration for contempt of court -- a U.S. record for the charge.

"We want you out of here right away," Mr. Chadwick, 73, said the official told him.

In 1995 -- the year "Apollo 13" was a box-office hit, O.J. Simpson was acquitted of murder and 169 people were killed in the bombing of an Oklahoma federal building -- Mr. Chadwick was a corporate lawyer who grew up in Bryn Mawr and became embroiled in a nasty divorce. In April that year, he was arrested by two sheriff's deputies at his dentist's dowtown Philadelphia office and landed in jail.

A Delaware County judge issued an order to jail Mr. Chadwick for failing to deposit $2.5 million in a court-controlled account that would be used to pay alimony to his ex-wife, Barbara "Bobbie" Applegate.

Mr. Chadwick contended he no longer had the money, saying he lost it in a bad overseas investment. The judge believed he hid the money after divorce proceedings were started. Court-ordered investigations after he was jailed turned up no money.

The couple were married for 15 years. Mr. Chadwick called their marriage happy; she said he was stubborn and controlled her every move.

Efforts to reach Ms. Applegate's attorney, Albert Momjian, yesterday were unsuccessful.

In yesterday's ruling, Judge Joseph P. Cronin said Mr. Chadwick had the ability to comply with the 1995 court order to make the bank deposit and willfully refused to do so. But, after 14 years, Judge Cronin said, the contempt order had lost its coercive effect and instead had become punitive.

At the prison yesterday, when Mr. Chadwick's attorney, Michael J. Malloy, arrived to pick him up, about 50 people -- prison staff, correction officers and inmates -- were gathered inside and out to see him off.

"It was pretty remarkable scene," said Mr. Malloy. He added people were crying, shaking hands and hugging Mr. Chadwick. When he walked out into the brilliant, blue sky day, Mr. Malloy said everyone applauded.

The two packed 14 years of clothes, books, magazines -- including Bon Appetit -- and boxes of legal filings into the backseat and trunk of Mr. Malloy's Honda Accord, and then they drove off.

"I really missed being free and being able to have interactions with other people," said Mr. Chadwick, who was dressed in a dapper green suit and maroon tie for the occasion. "Jail is really a very artificial society."

Later in Mr. Malloy's office, Mr. Chadwick talked about his legal battles, the judicial system, his life in prison and his future.

He said he held no anger about the imprisonment or toward his ex-wife, to whom he has not spoken in more than a decade.

"The dark moments always came when I had a turndown from some court," said Mr. Chadwick, who had repeatedly sought release over the years. He said he kept his spirits up helping others with their legal issues.

For more than six years, Mr. Malloy worked pro bono on the case.

"I always thought if I could take this to a jury, he would have been home in a week," said Mr. Malloy.

When Mr. Chadwick's son, William, 41, walked into the office, the two embraced.

"It was so tough to keep up hopes at these hearings," said William Chadwick.

"We were concentrating so much on getting him out, we haven't thought what we'd do immediately afterward."

Beatty Chadwick will stay at his son's house in King of Prussia until he can set up his own apartment. He has no firm plans beyond that.

"I have to get out and make a living," said Mr. Chadwick, who has no income other than Social Security.

He is considering possibly teaching, trying to see what he can do in a corporate advisory role, and he will try to get his law license reinstated.

"I'm really thinking about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life," Mr. Chadwick said.

He would like to use his "skills and talent and time" to benefit others.

As Mr. Chadwick walked outside to transfer his belongings into his son's Prius, a man driving a car along Veteran's Square in Media honked, cheered and gave the thumbs-up sign, all while hanging out the car window.

"Good job, buddy," said the former fellow inmate, who declined to give his name. "You deserve to be out." [Read the article]

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Victim #123: Courts Garnishing 65% of Social Security Income



The Florida courts can garnish up to 65% of ones Social Security. Regardless of this being your only income. My wife is receiving her first husbands SS and 65% of mine. Only married 12 years and no children together.

I raised her daughter from age 3. Life time alimony since 1986, $1,800.00 per month. Ran out of money so they elected to Garnish my SS. No other source of income. I'm now 74 and living on $399.10 per month. My EX is living on 1,750.00 per month. What a difference a gender makes.

By the way, I had a friend of mine in the Children & Families Department do a research on garnishment. Her is what she came up with:

The courts also play a part in this exhibition of prejudice. The fact that there is NO case in the state of Florida that identifies a WOMEN having her Social Security check garnished by the court to pay for life time alimony to her ex-hsband just screams with bias, prejudice and discrimination. This truly is gender bias and unfair treatment to me. I can support alimony for rehabilitation but not the right to lifetime alimony.

Florida courts reward laziness and call if lifetime alimony.

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Friday, July 3, 2009

Nursing Home Solution for Alimony Slaves



I was watching a documentary about the prison systems in the United States and the major problem they are having with aging prisoners. With the amount of prisoners being in the few millions across the country, more and more of them are getting up there in years and requiring nursing home type assistance. As a result, many prisons across the country are modernizing their prisons to accommodate these elderly care.

All that being said, since we are lifetime alimony payers under threat of prison time if we don't pay, I just realized we have one heck of an advantage over the general public. A few years ago I found out how expensive it was for nursing home care for my dad who eventually passed away. The least expensive one was 3500/month, something obviously I could not afford. My mom and I almost died ourselves giving my dad 24 hour care before he passed away.

So I now have my nursing home retirement plan in place. If I never get out of paying permanent alimony and when I can no longer take care of myself, all you have to do is stop paying, tell the judge you are not going to pay, you are in contempt of court and you are thrown in jail. They will need to place you in one of those prisons for elderly prisoners. Imagine, the tables are now turned and because of the states antiquated alimony laws, the final joke is on them since you control the "key" of release based on you paying alimony.

Justice in the end, my friends is finally served. The ex gets nothing and the state eventually takes care of you at their cost.......what a country!!!!

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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Victim #122: Alimony Torture in Alabama


I returned from court today on my motion to amend, vacate, or new trial empty handed. My atty did a nice job presenting the "inequitable" distribution of assets-(I got all the debt and $400,000 marital tax debt)-she got the only asset, the house.

I did get $125,000 equitable "interest" but never get the money unless she sells the house- why should she??? I will be paying for it PERMANENTLY!!!!

The unfairness of$ 3,000.00 a month Permanent alimony for a 7 year marriage, no children was also brought up by my atty. The Judge stated that she would not change anything, that I was capable of getting back to work and making money, that $3,000.00 a month would not cripple me.

She states that my ex wife came into the marriage with $400,000 dollars-which my ex had when we married, and spent every penny living a lifestyle out of control,clothes, cars-Mercedes for her by the way, $50k on her mothers house, private school for her girls- all documented. Isn't it part of the law if you marry someone and spend your money, it isn't a separate estate??? How can the Judge ignore the facts?

My ex has a job making $50,000 a year and a teachers retirement,( she has a masters degree and a counseling degree) and will get her deceased 1st husbands Social Security-for a total of over $100,000 a year income. Go figure! I suppose the Judge believes my ex should get the money she spent back from me.

My atty says he can not understand the Judges decision, except for the fact she does not like me. Of course we must appeal. It is so incredibly difficult to function with injustice and think about being connected to someone so vindictive for a lifetime.

I'm in Alabama, does anyone know of anyone having to appeal or alimony torture in Alabama? How do you go on and have an American dream of "Freedom" and pursuit of happiness?? I must fight for Justice!

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Victim #121: Domestic Violence Traps



The night that I finally left the house when I was married and my ex was absolutely bonkers she threatened to call 911. I asked her why would she ever do that (I was so fricking naive). She said she was going to report that I hit her. I replied that I have never laid a hand on her in my life and that they will think she is nuts. She replied back that she would actually make sure she bruised herself before the police got there. I knew then that it was finally time for me to get a divorce but it goes to show to what extreme some crazy spouses will go to.

She never did call but rest assured if she had and they would have found self inflicted wounds on her, I would have been arrested and had a record for the rest of my life. That is why when I hear about Domestic Violence from a girlfriend or wife with a professional athlete, I now don't believe any of them although some may be true. I just remember back to that night and what happened with me and how easy it is for a guy to be set up.

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Victim #120: His Last Night in the House




My last night in the house.

Woke up at 9:00am to go to church with my two sons. I called the house afterward and my wife was not there. I took the boys bowling and then out to lunch. Called the house, still no wife. Ran some errands and went home. When I arrived, there were suit cases in the driveway. I asked her where she was going and she told me that she was going to the Fl. Keys for the week with the kids. She mentioned two weeks earlier that she wanted to go down for a weekend but never bought it back up. She was also going to take the only car. That means I had no ride in to work the next day (didn't matter to her).

She had been drinking and it was raining. I told her she should have made arrangements to rent a car or at least let me know, I could not be without a vehicle. She through the suitcases in the truck back seat. I reached in and took the keys out of the ignition. At the same time she grabbed for the keys and broke off the remote control for the alarm and then punched me in the mouth. God as my witness, I never so much as touched her!

So, here I am bleeding and she has been drinking. What do you do????? You call the cops and sit outside and wait for them. That's what they tell you to do on the show "Cops."

To make a long story short, they show up and see my lip and the blood on my shirt. She counters and says I grabbed her hand. The cops come over to me and tell me I have to leave. I complain and say "I called you and I was hit." He gets in my face and says that he will arrest us both if I don't leave.They also confiscate all my guns.

She files and receives a restraining order against me the next morning, even though I was at the court house before her and filed before her. I never step foot back in the house again.

I loose the kids, the house, my dignity and $240,000 in alimony over the next 10 years.

I have NO CONFIDENCE for Florida Family Court Law. If you are a guy, you are going to get Fucked! Offer a lump sum alimony payment and leave the state.

Damn the Judges, lawyers, forensic accountants and all the other whores of the court to hell.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Victim #119: Florida Courts Create A Dilemma in New Mexico



I was divorced in Florida in Oct., 1999. This was a mediated divorce with a marital settlement agreement. I was convinced by lawyer and the mediator at the time, to accept and sign off on it. That agreement was accepted by the Florida court and became final at the above mentioned date. The divorce settlement agreement called for permanent, periodic alimony in the amount of $7,50in Florida. I was married for approximately 23 years.

In 2001 because of the recession, the Dot Com bust, and 9-11, my income dropped approx. 62%. I went for a modification of my alimony as allowed. After 9 months of legal wrangling I had my day in court attended by my attorney and a forensic CPA. After the hearing was over in West Palm Beach, Judge Phillips took the matter under advisement and went on a vacation. 5 weeks later he came back with his ruling and reduced my alimony by ZERO!

This through me into such a horrible state mentally that I was forced to leave my job and I ended up on disability for severe anxiety and depression. Since I was only making $7,500.00 to $8,500.00 per month at that time and worked solely off commissions and was still required to pay the full alimony of $7,500.00 per month, I knew it would be impossible to continue working because of the extreme pressure this put on me and I couldn't manufacture commissions. My disability was enough to cover the ongoing alimony payments plus support myself. The only problem was the disability had a finite term of 2 years.

After being on disability for 2 years and paying the required alimony continuously the disability ran out due to policy limitations. That was in March, 2005. Before this took place my attorney and I tried to negotiate a settlement with my ex-wife and her counsel back in August, 2004 giving them plenty of forewarning and proof that my only source of income would soon be ending and we were trying to be proactive and reach some sort of settlement before the income ran out. They refused to settle.

In early February, 2005 my attorney filed a motion for modification of my alimony and shortly thereafter informed me she could no longer represent me adequately and recommended I have another lawyer take over my case. After hiring another woman lawyer, she recommended I drop the modification hearing.

Her opinion was that even though I don't have an income any longer the judge would hypothecate an income based on my past earnings and I wouldn't be able to pay that anyway so what's the point of continuing with a modification hearing. She recommended we ignore the contempt charges being brought against me.

I instructed her to attend the contempt hearings and at the very least show the court the proof that my disability income had expired since the opposing counsel was claiming I had ongoing income and the continued ability to pay using an outdated financial affidavit of mine.

My lawyer had all the proof she needed to defend me but didn't provide any of it to the court and provided no defense on my part what-so-ever. She knew the information the opposition was presenting to the court was outdated and inaccurate but still provided no defense and let contempt charges be ruled against me. Further a hearing was held to obtain a judgment against me for all the arrearages to which she provided no defense. She told me there's nothing they could do since I lived out of state and therefore she had me covered.

Of course this was very far from being true. My ex-wife has now hired a New Mexico attorney and has put forth a motion to the New Mexico court to adopt/domesticate the Florida judgment. I have now been forced to hire an attorney of my own here in New Mexico to defend me.

We have filed a motion with the court here to stay all further proceedings here in New Mexico pending the outcome of the Pro Se motion I now have before the Florida courts. My motion before the Florida courts is to set aside the existing judgment and adjudications of contempt.

My motion is based upon the fact that I did not receive proper counsel or representation and was provided no defense. My motion also shows evidence that the opposing counsel had proof that my disability income had run out since they were previously provide such documents by my old attorney showing statements from my insurance company stating that no further income would be paid to me after March, 2005.

The opposing counsel ignored this evidence and falsely provide the court inaccurate, misleading information to obtain their order of contempt and their judgment against me. Again my Florida lawyer provided me with no defense.

I have requested the Florida court to let me attend the hearing on my motion via telephone. The opposition objected to my attending this hearing via the telephone basing their objection on the need to take my testimony and show me certain documents, etc.

There was a hearing held this morning, which I attended via the telephone, so the judge, Jeffrey Colbath, would decide whether to accept or reject my request to attend the hearing on the 19th via telephone. Unfortunately he sustained their objection and will not allow me to attend that hearing via the phone and I must appear in person. I obviously can't do that since I'm presently in contempt of court, have an existing judgment ordering me to pay arrearages and also an order that I should be taken into custody until I satisfy the outstanding judgment. I do not have the ability to pay this judgment and can't take the risk of being jailed.

I would like to follow through with my motion before the court to set aside the existing judgment and adjudications of contempt but don't know if I'd be able to do so by hiring another attorney to show up at the hearing to represent me. Especially now that the judge has refused my request to attend the hearing via telephone. Can in fact an attorney go to court without me being present and represent me in such a circumstance?

Also once the Florida thing is over and done, if I can't be successful in having the judge set aside the existing judgment and contempt charges it will come right back to the New Mexico court to be domesticated. I don't really know what sort of chance, if any, I would have in having the judge here not adopt this judgment and it then becomes a New Mexico judgment and I find myself in the same situation here. That is not having the ability to pay and then having to face being thrown in jail.

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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Victim #118: A Second Wife's Complaint



I am a second wife. My husband earn a lot of money and half of his income today is going to 2 kids 11, 14(child support around 26K a year) and big money for alimony(30K a year). Ex wife work as part time job to maintain her luxery life style.

She has a boyfriend that they date for 3 years and she always stay with her boyfriend when my husband have to take care the kids. Kids stay with my husband 3-4 nights a week. In this case can the court consider that ex wife and her boy friend is in cohabitation.

Is anyway to drop the alimony ? My husband has to pay alimony til he retire. I don't think it is fair since his ex will date with this guy forever but don't live together in order to keep her big check.

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Monday, June 15, 2009

Victim #117: Down on the Farm



After a five-year battle, last year I was finally successful at getting my alimony reduced from $15,000 per month to $2,000 per month. It was only possible when the attorneys saw that there was no money left. Everything was gone, my business had been ruined and I was financially wiped out. My current wife and I also lost our home. We could no longer afford to live in Mass. and moved to Kentucky with our 2 children. We are renters now and live on a farm, but at least our life can move on.

I filed for bankruptcy here in Kentucky and last week I was at the bankruptcy court. The judge was looking over my papers and asked me how long I had to pay alimony. I said “Until I’m 62. I’m 46 now.” Upon leaving the courtroom, my attorney (a woman) looked at me in shock and said, “I can’t believe you have to pay $2,000 per month until you’re 62!!! That’s unbelievable!!! Can’t you get that reduced???”

…She has no idea

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Friday, June 12, 2009

Victim #116: Supporting the Ex-Husband



AMY WILLIAMS, 38, never imagined she'd end up a single mother of two paying alimony to an ex-husband. Yet that's exactly where the media executive found herself when her 10-year marriage dissolved in 2004.

During the early years of the relationship, Williams (whose name we changed due to privacy concerns) supported her husband while he completed his Ph.D. in history. The assumption, she says, was that he would find a job in academia. That day never arrived. He was unable to find work, but also didn't want to be the primary caregiver for their kids. So Williams paid for child care.

[Read more...]

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Victim # 115: A Veteran's Catch-22



I recently sent the information below, to Senator Bob Corker in Florida. I have a hard time believing that he actually read it. He said that I need to contact someone in Tennessee because it is in their jurisdiction. Tennessee tells me I have to contact Florida.

My case may seem minor to some, but after winding up in jail, and leading an all but impoverished lifestyle, to me it is not minor. Attorneys only want money even knowing they can’t help. Been there, lost. I feel as though I am stuck in a barrel with no way out, as other people continue to live quite well as a result of my hard work.

The following will explain and please excuse my bitterness with the American judicial system and the fairness in question of this particular law. I have been informed by certain Father’s rights groups that my case is very severe.

The Good (?), the bad and the extremely ugly: Florida alimony and my personal struggle to survive.

Throughout all of my research, I have determined one major factor that is agreed upon by many: alimony laws were created in favor of women with no regard for the ex-husband. I have found no exception.

The following will indicate my personal struggle and, will further justify my statement concerning the unfairness of the law.

After 14 years of marriage, and two children who were at that time, less than one year and four, I was divorced. Between alimony and child support, I got stung with an overweight price tag of $30,000 per year. Because I am not in the legal profession, I trusted the advice that I was paying for from my attorney. At the time, I owned a new business that was less than a year old, located in Tennessee where I later moved and still reside.

My adoring attorney recommended that I make the alimony non-modifiable in case my business turned into the next version of Microsoft. The problem was that it was a corporation owned by myself, and one partner. Each of us had two board members. His were his Dad and Brother, while mine were my ex-Father and Brother in-law. Needless to say, soon after the divorce, my members resigned and I was voted off the board and lost my company. I did receive severance, which I reinvested into another company that, lo and behold, failed one year later leaving me broke and almost indigent.

In a moment, I will discuss jail. Lets follow the progression. I will also mention credit, later. In addition to the $30,000 per year, she got the house, car and furniture. I got to keep my guitar and an antique bottle collection, which I later sold to eat.

She allowed the house payment to fall behind and received a notice of foreclosure. That's when one of my ex-best friends, with whom she had been having a little fling with (and not her first, but that's another story for another time), came to the rescue and purchased the house. Since she had nowhere else to live, it only made sense for her to move in with him so he could turn around and sell the house that he just purchased for a unbelievable bargain, realizing a handsome profit that I never saw one penney of. After all, on his annual salary of $300,000 per year, he had a big enough place. Hey, bring the kids too! Did it affect my Florida alimony? No, remember, it's non-modifiable.

About a year later the happy couple tied the knot. My alimony stayed the same. I should also make note of how my ex-wife has never worked again since the divorce even though she is ten years younger than me and has some highly marketable skills. She claimed she couldn't work anymore because of the kids. No problem, I'll take them. Yeah, right!

Back to my second business failing. I remarried about two years after the divorce. It's just my wife and I. Fortunately I found gainful employment the day prior to our getting evicted, after my second business failed. But, of course the child support and alimony fell behind, even though I sent a few dollars now and then as I could.

My wife and I budgeted $20 per week for food. Long story short, I got summoned to court in Florida, where I was promptly handcuffed by order of the judge who has lunch frequently with my ex-wife's attorney. This takes place in that kind of town. She could afford a very expensive attorney, I couldn't. Even if I could afford a great one, nobody in this Florida town wants to go up against her attorney. Guess who got locked up. Yep, you got it.

I'm told that later that night, my ex and her spouse went to the country club where they are members, for a steak dinner and a glass of fine wine. Ever try jail food? My sister bailed me out the following day and I left Florida without saying goodbye to the kids, tail between my legs.

I work now and I work hard. Most days, I average 15 to 17 hours. I make $70,000 and continue to give her $30,000 of it to add to her household income leaving them the unfortunate task of learning to live on $333,000 a year. Oh yeah, until the divorce was final, I would send her most of my income to pay the bills that she didn't pay. Guess who has no credit.

Now it gets bleak. Knowing that there was no a way out for me, and the fact that my daughter was so young when the divorce took place, my ex asked me if her husband could adopt her. At first I was furious and said no but then thought about my daughter. Just starting school it would be easier for her if she shared a common last name. It would be easier for Doctors notes, passports and etc. She called the guy Dad anyway and listened to bad things being said about her real Dad around her house.

Then my ex offered me something. If I agreed to this, she would discontinue receiving alimony and I would only pay child support for one child. She told me that I could see my daughter anytime I wanted. So, it was done. No criticism please. I doubt you could understand the pain that I still face every day of my life. But it was a chance to finally provide the life for my wife that she deserves. This all had to be done in sequence because an adoption cannot be done because of money.

In actually, this adoption wasn't about money, but it was an offer that I couldn't refuse, I accepted the offer and she drafted it. After the adoption, she failed to follow through and I can't even get in touch with her now. The last thing I heard, her attorney asked the question of her, "Why would you want to do that"?

My wife and I continue to struggle in our 600 sq. ft. home in a major city where life is by no means cheap. The sad thing is, it shouldn't be this way. What she receives from me is play money for their many trips. Of course I can't modify my payment to her, even upon death! Figure that one out.

In addition to being broke, its humiliating to go through life being embarrassed and knowing you are getting laughed at by the people taking advantage of you. You know, the happy family that lives in the big house and drive new cars. I'm ashamed to invite friends to my house and I pay an enormous amount each month for my car because of my credit rating. I continue to "bust my tail" to fund their luxuries. I'm surprised I can even spell the word luxry (See there I have a hard time with it)

As a loyal American and 14-year military veteran, I have the right to say that alimony laws are ridiculously unjust. So here I am, no way out, and not enough money for a powerful attorney even if there were a way out. Guess it's back to the VA Clinic for some more paxel and Valium. I've been on them for quite some time now. My next step in join my fellow exiles that have had to leave the USA in order to have any kind of a respectable life.

Please do not suggest that I contact the Congressman for that district of Florida. My ex’s husband is a contributor to his campaign and I believe that his firm does that Congressman’s taxes.

I suppose my next question should be addressed to congress. Does anyone in the country that I defended for 14 years care about this injustice. As I see it now, the answer is no. Do you? Probably not if you haven’t filled the shoes of countless divorced men who have either left the country, changed their identity or continue to suffer without warrant.

Perhaps someday I will find someone in a government position who cares more about justice and humanity than their political career and attaining votes. This judgment can be overturned, but it will take Congress to do so. Till then I remain a prisoner of a court system that has no morals.

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