Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Victim #135: Role Reversal: Ex-Wives Angry Over Paying Alimony

He got their second house, an investment property she had bought in Costa Rica, and a $96,000 annual alimony payment.

She got angry.

"It's so obscene," said Holly Chiancola, 52, a Gloucester, Mass. real estate agent who is fighting the terms of a divorce settlement ordered by a judge in 2006.

You used to hear about divorced men complaining that their ex-wives were unfairly cutting into their income. Now, as more women become primary breadwinners, the complaints increasingly come from them. The number of American men receiving alimony has climbed, from 7,000 in 1998 to 13,000 last year, according to U.S. Census Bureau data

Chiancola's ex, who declined to comment for this story, is among them.


Sunday, September 27, 2009

Victim #134: Makes a Statement With "The Final Solution"

James S. Irwin called it a "death sentence."

The 73-year-old international businessman and philanthropist would have to pay his wife alimony and attorney fees totaling more than $2 million, as part of their ongoing divorce proceedings.

That decision, Irwin wrote in a letter mailed to the Sun, would be his undoing.

And he wanted the judge who signed the order to know it.

Irwin, chairman of Integrated Control Systems Inc. and IMPAC University in Punta Gorda, shot and killed himself Monday at his Litchfield, Conn., farm.

Earlier that day, a two-page letter with Irwin's name and Connecticut address was sent to 20th Judicial Circuit Judge John Dommerich, cursing his handling of Irwin's divorce. A copy was forwarded to the Sun.

In the letter, Irwin blames Dommerich and his wife, Linda Scott-Irwin, for his "financial destruction."


Friday, September 11, 2009

Victim #133: Down and Out in Califiornia

Via an incompetent attorney and a long distance divorce I walked out of a 23 year marriage with no material assets and obligated to pay $193K on a 83K/year salary. I am now making 64K/year and still owe a balance of 156K.

My wages are currently garnished leaving me less then 1200/month to live on in southern California. The garnishment doesn't even address the portion I left unpaid while I was unemployed. Colorado court (where the divorce occurred) already ruled they don't have jurisdiction to modify.

This was never a stay-at-home-mom. We both have bachelor degrees. We both worked in management positions. The difference was she was working on developing her non-profit women's advocacy group the last few years of our marriage. I underwrote her trail expenses and time conferences and lobbying on capitol hill. She award herself no salary, but refused all discovery requests directed at her business. Unfortunately, the only thing that seemed to matter was how much we each reported to the government as salary.

The net result is my home is a 5X5 storage unit, and my bedroom is the bed of my pickup. I have no faith in the court system. As a child I watched my child support allocation drop from $50/month to $10/month as my father accumulated more children. I attempted to do right thing and was raped in the process. There was never any drugs or violence (except on her part), just deep narcissistic anger.

My options seem few if any. Legislative advocacy just doesn't address my situation. My only comfort is in God. What strength I muster is inspired by the story of David struggle against Saul. I pray for God's protection, and have faith that the righteous will prevail someday.