Saturday, March 13, 2010

Victime #148: The Evils of First Divorce are Visited on Second Wife

I've seen very unfair things happening due to the laws and systems. I'm not sure if people that are getting a divorce are the ones looking for "revenge" or if it's just lawyers that need these nasty endings to fill up their pockets. I hate legislation that let lazy, irresponsible spouses to get away with such abuse. I want to prevent it from happening to me.

Here's my story if you're interested....
I was married for a very short time to a guy that had been sentenced with 24k alimony a year for 10 years (this is just to sum up...). It not only affected our relationship financially and emotionally, but now that WE are close to a divorce (we've been separated for 7 months), I'm afraid that he would "take revenge" out on me, just because he's had it soooo bad with the first wife.

I just want a divorce, no money, no complications (is this possible), just a divorce. We don't have any assets together, nothing whatsoever, and thank God for that!! He owns property and has a trust from his mom, and I couldn't care less!! The only thing in common is an almost 2 year old, the even though we have agreed to get share custody, I do not trust him. I'm scared he may want to take him away from me!!!

My ex and I were never compatible, it didn't work and it would never work. It's been very sad for me, but oh well...I would like to maintain a friendly relationship for our son, but my ex is really tricky. He lives with a woman, he had an affair with her after we had been married for 6 months, he said he wanted to move on with his life with her (that he was in love...) and asked me to move out. He was a complete asshole at the time, and a month after he wanted to "make up" with me. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Now, I want a divorce and he manipulates me with little and big stuff, which is frustrating. If I'm not friendly to him, he won't pick up the phone when I want to call my son. For him, in order to be friendly I have to accept his flirting and "invitations" to have sex (don't forget, he's living with his ex affair buddy, she moved in almost the same day I left).

I've always been sorry for how he's first marriage ended. I have never depended financially on him, NEVER. I do not care, he even made me sign a prenup and I had no problem with that, I've always have a clean conscience. I just want a divorce (no money, nothing, not even child support...I can't even move too far from where he lives!!!) and I'm afraid that he will try to fault it on me, say that I abandoned the house and that all he has is a "roommate" to alleviate his expenses!!!

He just started with a business and he's not making a lot of money. I make less that 30K a year right now, can you imagine if he finds his way out to say that I should pay him!!!

Sorry, that I vented all this, I'm desperate!!! He's done so many wrong things to me that I'm afraid this is not the end.