Via an incompetent attorney and a long distance divorce I walked out of a 23 year marriage with no material assets and obligated to pay $193K on a 83K/year salary. I am now making 64K/year and still owe a balance of 156K.
My wages are currently garnished leaving me less then 1200/month to live on in southern California. The garnishment doesn't even address the portion I left unpaid while I was unemployed. Colorado court (where the divorce occurred) already ruled they don't have jurisdiction to modify.
This was never a stay-at-home-mom. We both have bachelor degrees. We both worked in management positions. The difference was she was working on developing her non-profit women's advocacy group the last few years of our marriage. I underwrote her trail expenses and time conferences and lobbying on capitol hill. She award herself no salary, but refused all discovery requests directed at her business. Unfortunately, the only thing that seemed to matter was how much we each reported to the government as salary.
The net result is my home is a 5X5 storage unit, and my bedroom is the bed of my pickup. I have no faith in the court system. As a child I watched my child support allocation drop from $50/month to $10/month as my father accumulated more children. I attempted to do right thing and was raped in the process. There was never any drugs or violence (except on her part), just deep narcissistic anger.
My options seem few if any. Legislative advocacy just doesn't address my situation. My only comfort is in God. What strength I muster is inspired by the story of David struggle against Saul. I pray for God's protection, and have faith that the righteous will prevail someday.